tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36247631224244694392024-02-20T12:46:48.477-08:00Higher Ed, Lower Incomecaptiv8edhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11082449835686605409noreply@blogger.comBlogger56125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3624763122424469439.post-55381945191828874062016-07-25T12:21:00.000-07:002016-07-25T12:21:29.539-07:00The land of choiceHello blog friends!<br />
<br />
It has been a long time since I blogged, but I decided to dust it off for an election season post.<br />
<br />
The current national election stage is heated on both sides, with so much in-fighting in each party that they have barely been able to begin general election campaigns.<br />
<br />
In the meantime, the state primaries are August 2, and so I thought I would lighten things up a bit by sharing some of the contents of my state primary ballot.<br />
<br />
Top seat is the U.S. Senator. Including the incumbent who has been in office since 1992, we have 17 people running for the privilege of being one of the top 2 candidates that proceed to the general election. Although we do have a fair representation of Democrats and Republicans lining up to challenge her, there are many small affiliations. Among the most interesting:<br />
<br />
The Human Rights Party<br />
Conservative Party (different from Republicans)<br />
Standupamerica Party (yes it is one word)<br />
Lincoln Caucus Party<br />
System Reboot Party<br />
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One of the Republican candidates is listed as Uncle Mover. Apparently he owns a moving company and at some point legally changed his name to Mike the Mover. He has run many times. Perhaps to shake things up, he has again legally changed his name, this time to Uncle Mover.<br />
<br />
For Governor, we have 11 on the ballot.<br />
Goodspaceguy wants to abolish the minimum wage in favor of allowing people to sell their labor. He has no problem calling constituents losers. As far as his name, he wants to colonize space. He has run for just about everything on the ballot. I will let him speak for himself:<br />
<a href="http://crosscut.com/2015/10/goodspaceguy-the-definitive-interview-with-king-countys-perennial-candidate-video/">Goodspaceguy Interview</a> from last year's Port Commissioner race.<br />
In addition to Goodspaceguy and the usual parties, we have candidates representing:<br />
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Socialist Worker Party<br />
Fifth Republic Party<br />
<a href="http://holisticparty.org/">Holistic Party</a><br />
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We also have 11 people running for lieutenant governor, although there is some concern that some of them might not know what the <a href="http://www.thenewstribune.com/news/politics-government/article88077797.html">duties of lieutenant governor are</a>.<br />
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In more local politics, we have a guy running for office who has these credentials: <span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">attorney, accountant, Professional Engineer, U.S. Patent Agent, general contractor, and successful CEO of a high technology company. He has doctorates in Law, Medicine, and Computer Science.</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I don't know how he has time to run for office, let allow hold a seat! </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;">This fellow is not in my district, but he has what must be the worst road signs ever produced. This is on a highway where people drive between 60 and 70 mph. It isn't even as large as a typical candidate sign. And it is placed behind someone else's sign. He really needs to find a better graphic designer. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></span>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNBLRj-J0wWer8BFrmYMnYd8FjuDAWRsArb0grWgJLtkkjxmf9sY83FzxED4Ve0HwyUi3UEYVX9X7i1Um6acujGsM5n3WzCW9yhl6V5baR_TbIknhC-aoH5MQFsZJJmxVMzS2hY6EKQgf6/s1600/cropped-12987167_261781030825590_2245216815653841428_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="160" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNBLRj-J0wWer8BFrmYMnYd8FjuDAWRsArb0grWgJLtkkjxmf9sY83FzxED4Ve0HwyUi3UEYVX9X7i1Um6acujGsM5n3WzCW9yhl6V5baR_TbIknhC-aoH5MQFsZJJmxVMzS2hY6EKQgf6/s320/cropped-12987167_261781030825590_2245216815653841428_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;">Let the Games Begin!! </span></span><br />
<span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: #bd081c; background-image: url(data:image/svg+xml; background-position: 3px 50%; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; background-size: 14px; border-bottom-left-radius: 2px; border-bottom-right-radius: 2px; border-top-left-radius: 2px; border-top-right-radius: 2px; border: none; color: white; cursor: pointer; display: none; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px; opacity: 1; padding: 0px 4px 0px 0px; position: absolute; text-align: center; text-indent: 20px; width: auto; z-index: 8675309;">Save</span><span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: #bd081c; background-image: url(data:image/svg+xml; background-position: 3px 50%; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; background-size: 14px; border-bottom-left-radius: 2px; border-bottom-right-radius: 2px; border-top-left-radius: 2px; border-top-right-radius: 2px; border: none; color: white; cursor: pointer; display: none; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px; opacity: 1; padding: 0px 4px 0px 0px; position: absolute; text-align: center; text-indent: 20px; width: auto; z-index: 8675309;">Save</span><span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: #bd081c; background-image: url(data:image/svg+xml; background-position: 3px 50%; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; background-size: 14px; border-bottom-left-radius: 2px; border-bottom-right-radius: 2px; border-top-left-radius: 2px; border-top-right-radius: 2px; border: none; color: white; cursor: pointer; display: none; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px; opacity: 1; padding: 0px 4px 0px 0px; position: absolute; text-align: center; text-indent: 20px; width: auto; z-index: 8675309;">Save</span><span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: #bd081c; background-image: url(data:image/svg+xml; background-position: 3px 50%; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; background-size: 14px; border-bottom-left-radius: 2px; border-bottom-right-radius: 2px; border-top-left-radius: 2px; border-top-right-radius: 2px; border: none; color: white; cursor: pointer; display: none; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px; opacity: 1; padding: 0px 4px 0px 0px; position: absolute; text-align: center; text-indent: 20px; width: auto; z-index: 8675309;">Save</span>captiv8edhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11082449835686605409noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3624763122424469439.post-70027413167946944502015-01-13T09:00:00.000-08:002015-01-13T15:03:37.661-08:00Figuring it out. With bonus brunch recipe<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I am one week into my new routine.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I am working on these goals: stronger willpower,
more family closeness, and more productivity.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Stronger willpower. I had some ridiculous
successes in this one! I went to bed early every night. I got up before 6 am. I
was sick on Friday and I still pushed myself to work. I was still sick this
morning and fully intended to sleep in, but then this little voice pushed me
awake, and we went to church. We have started attending a new (to us) church. </span></div>
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<a href="http://www.wweek.com/portland/article-9421-walk_art.html"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Image</span></a></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">This is a huge thing for me. I have been so burned by religion in so many ways,
that to reach out to one and want to go, especially when sick, is enormous. I
have been meditating nightly. </span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Other goals to work on in this: eating better,
spending less money, and exercising more.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1k5b4H5DMvsCoxvUq2yGwSYVPmJvCWmWoYRDSVIiUlGajNAXlZQIVyPzAOB9e3VPt-TC56C_06dHUCp25jDxLrg0t-tsD6s6Cq47JPNOwiYcgVx-SxBxYdpxHkCXBsSo_DXxp2ehKLhw0/s1600/exercise.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1k5b4H5DMvsCoxvUq2yGwSYVPmJvCWmWoYRDSVIiUlGajNAXlZQIVyPzAOB9e3VPt-TC56C_06dHUCp25jDxLrg0t-tsD6s6Cq47JPNOwiYcgVx-SxBxYdpxHkCXBsSo_DXxp2ehKLhw0/s1600/exercise.jpg" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/11/vintage-workouts-photos-exercise-old-fashioned_n_3056557.html"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Image</span></a></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">More family closeness. I feel like we had a
really good week. A lot of good and productive talks. The sermon today was on
the importance of being present. That spoke to me and I am trying to do less
multitasking and more single tasking. This week we plan to spend time with each
boy and help them come up with their own goal sheets and plans. </span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Goals to work
on: continue setting and enforcing boundaries with them, having game time, and
cooking together more.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">More productivity: Sticker charts for the win! I
am embarrassed at how motivating my little charts have been. I have also been
working on forgiving myself when I don't achieve some arbitrary standard. I
have been remaining off of social media and news sites almost completely during
the week. I am using <a href="https://www.rescuetime.com/">Rescue Time </a> and am allowing myself to get competitive with
me. </span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Goals to work on: sticking with it now that the semester has begun,
getting up at 5:45. And the big one: carving out reading time. I have books I
want to read on productivity, parenting, and generally being a better person. I
also want to read for fun. I don’t seem to have time for anything but the
quickest reading right now. Although I do tend to sit on the couch quite a bit
from 6 am until about 7:30. Maybe I should bring a book with me. But I would
also like to make that a more mobile time. Hmmm….<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">My big burning question still remains: how do
people accomplish all the parts. </span></div>
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<a href="http://howtobea1950shousewife.blogspot.com/2013/06/homemaking-like-queen-lesson-3.html"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Image</span></a></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I know there are people that do. People who
are achieving adequate levels of exercise, work productivity, family time,
household organization, shopping, cooking, cleaning, and fun time. How does
that happen? I have been working like a dog to get my work productivity on tap,
but I still have some organizing to do in the house and garage. And the house
overall isn't as clean as I think it should be. And I want to cook more. And I
haven't really left the house socially hardly at all this week. These don't
feel like giant, lofty goals, and yet I can't fit them all into my week. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p><br /></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Next week I will tell you about my new color
coding system. I am pretty excited about it. But I will leave you with a recipe
that I made up on the way home from church. Luigi helped me make it and it was
delicious.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><a href="http://moviesdvdnewreleases.com/the-egg-and-i-1947.html">Image</a></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Egg Bake<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Greased 9X13 pan. I am not 100% sure about the
cook temp and time. We did 25 minutes, then 10 minutes at a time until it was
done. Started at 350, then turned it up to 400. I would say start at 400 and
start checking about 25 minutes in. It is done when the eggs aren’t runny.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Lightly toast 3 English muffins. Put them down
as your first layer.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Pour 1 cup half and half over the muffins.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Sprinkle chopped spinach and sliced mushrooms over
the cream. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Layer thin sliced ham or other lunch meat of
choice, to cover spinach.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Crack 10 eggs over the ham, evenly distributed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Sprinkle grated cheddar cheese on eggs.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Sprinkle fresh cilantro over cheese. I also
added a Mediterranean spice blend and some salt and pepper.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Bake until done. So easy and so good. I am going
to try to do it as a make-ahead next Saturday night. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">Not the prettiest dish in the world, but we didn't mind</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">We were going to add potatoes, but realized they
would need to be cooked for longer. So Luigi sliced them thin and fried them on
the side. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I hope everyone has a splendid week!</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
captiv8edhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11082449835686605409noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3624763122424469439.post-77660876464660658192015-01-05T21:49:00.002-08:002015-01-05T21:49:19.746-08:00Easing into itI didn't get up at 5, but I was out of bed by 6:04 am, which is really impressive for me. Especially impressive when you realize it is still dark at 8 am. :( There wasn't even a sunrise, just clouds. I will give myself one here:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdVrpB0plp5Ol3eyBcOCQNkOQ8WY0cgAaU5T_XEJx1I1xjJ_OLX7HivOy_-RC7fcX5wMEmYFO7isLDxU1vsD5imw-Jsv2jfK76xoO1lv_ubik52oFIa27QhZFaF7wmDI1BHYjGHGwFf4Wb/s1600/Sunrise.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdVrpB0plp5Ol3eyBcOCQNkOQ8WY0cgAaU5T_XEJx1I1xjJ_OLX7HivOy_-RC7fcX5wMEmYFO7isLDxU1vsD5imw-Jsv2jfK76xoO1lv_ubik52oFIa27QhZFaF7wmDI1BHYjGHGwFf4Wb/s1600/Sunrise.jpg" height="180" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;">photo: http://www.parkerfordchurch.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/Sunrise.jpg</span></div>
<br />
<br />
I am going to keep inching my wake up time earlier until I hit 5.<br />
<br />
I apologize to all of my readers that I keep forgetting about this blog until school is out. I like blogging and should try to be better about keeping it going.<br />
<br />
This seems like the silliest thing, but I am finally (4 1/2 years in) approaching my graduate school work like a 9-5 job. When working from home with little outside accountability, it is easy to let the work slide. First thing is class needs: prepping classes, grading assignments, responding to students. Next is family matters: appointments, shopping, planning, housework. Then there is the dreaded magnificent distraction machine- facebook, email, news, news, news.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxCntqEBuZfiANitDKWMCnLuGOgVZBVZScqC68iBTdH1XISG61WXNtNh-FkkQqf6H5hLjlt5FpiAPodqYo4B9biXfiwY_8-SrvuAlfy0bfZYnUDNHNxXmu_9mscQZQa_q4HjIEWcjZuxi_/s1600/0fef76547b50051587f24a5dabfe4f3f.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxCntqEBuZfiANitDKWMCnLuGOgVZBVZScqC68iBTdH1XISG61WXNtNh-FkkQqf6H5hLjlt5FpiAPodqYo4B9biXfiwY_8-SrvuAlfy0bfZYnUDNHNxXmu_9mscQZQa_q4HjIEWcjZuxi_/s1600/0fef76547b50051587f24a5dabfe4f3f.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;">photo: http://www.pinterest.com/pin/56858014019328823/</span></div>
<br />
I have given myself a paradigm shift. I am accountable to me as my boss. On the days that I am home on weekdays, I have to give myself at least 6 hours of uninterrupted work on either articles, projects, or dissertation. It sounds simple, but I have to tell myself this. I can take breaks, but I must do at least an hour of work 6 times per day. This week I have 5 days (today was my first day and I accomplished my goal). Next week I will only have two days. I will have to find strategies to work productively in my open shared office.<br />
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;">photo: http://tamikamiablog.com/tag/priorities/</span></div>
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I am doing a hard thing: I intend to finish a PhD in 6 years, while working as a TA or RA every semester. My thesis was qualitative, which takes longer than quantitative, and my dissertation is mixed methods (which takes longer), using two time-intensive methods-self-designed survey and interviews. I am also doing all of this while raising three kids (although not alone on that, thank God) with very little hands-on social support, and three moves, while supporting a husband who is dealing with depression, his own school, and a shaky job situation/career path. None of this is easy. But I am on track to finish on time, and I intend to do so, while also getting a good job in place. In order to do all of this and survive, I must buckle down and get some discipline. Which is why I am turning in at 9:45 pm (striving for 9, I will get there). Good night!<br />
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<br />captiv8edhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11082449835686605409noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3624763122424469439.post-36028118376258351932015-01-04T21:59:00.001-08:002015-01-05T07:00:02.884-08:00Whack a moleWe are at the whack a mole part of the new paradigm.<br />
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I spent much time cleaning the kitchen, but haven't gotten everyone on board yet, so while I am doing something else, they mess the kitchen and don't clean after themselves. I spent time organizing the living room, meanwhile the laundry has piled up. Now there is laundry to wash, dry, fold, and put away. Lving room looks great, but laundry has popped up and needs a whack. But we are also trying g to get to bed earlier, which means no laundry folding tonight. Meanwhile, my schoolwork mole has popped up and I have interviews to do, stuff to write, research to do. But then there is the exercise mole. And the spending time with kids doesn't happen all by itself. And to get the house in order, there are certain things that need purchasing. But I am also trying to save money.</div>
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Throughout all of this, I am sticking to a few main goals. Focus on serenity. Breathe more, yell less. Start each morning with a motivational video, end each night with meditation. Believe it or not, these things are helping. </div>
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I have created a vision board (feels a bit hokey, I have never done such a thing, but I am up for trying new things this year). Seeing goals can really help, I think. I have also made myself a daily goals board, complete with stickers. And now, thanks to this blog post, I get a sticker for my writing goal today :) and here are some of the books I intend to read through this year.<br />
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This is me, starting somewhere.</div>
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I hope everyone has a great week this week. </div>
captiv8edhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11082449835686605409noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3624763122424469439.post-42761095155906303692014-12-31T00:14:00.000-08:002014-12-31T00:21:13.438-08:002014 Year in Review- 2015 Year in Anticipation2014 was not a great year for me. It wasn't a bad year, but neither was it triumphant.<br />
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There were no major educational milestones hit, there was an unexpected move, there was an admission of failure on the homeschooling front, there was a desperate need for more friends and socializing, but precious little time to cultivate it.<br />
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However, there were moments of awesome.<br />
I got to see 3 of my sisters!<br />
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And some redwoods and sea lions.<br />
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I got to see a good friend and her cats and meet her good man. And see Seattle.<br />
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I got to make new friends and professional connections. I was able to sneak in some time with old friends as well.<br />
I climbed to the top of Beacon Rock and only got scared once<br />
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I walked part of the Golden Gate Bridge and didn't get scared at all.<br />
I had the supreme good fortune to witness my children grow another year into the people they are.<br />
We all enjoyed good health.<br />
I became the mother of an adult.<br />
I designed and taught 4 unique classes.<br />
I got to guest teach at my alma mater, which filled me with so much joy.<br />
I had students confide in me, I facilitated student learning, and I received a round of applause at the end of my most difficult class. I view teaching as an incredible privilege and research as the thing I have to do in order teach.<br />
I collected nearly all of the data I need to write my dissertation.<br />
I began to volunteer at the humane society, doing work that really fills my soul.<br />
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Looking ahead to 2015, I want to make some changes. I want to ramp up from good to great. I need to do some fine tuning. 2014 felt like a year on hold. 2015 will be a year of action.<br />
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My intentions:<br />
I will think and see more positively. I intend to start each day with a short motivational video to help me get in a more positive mindset. I truly believe that I have the power in me for greatness. I need to tap the potential.<br />
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I will watch for ways to help others achieve their goals and do what I can. When I have a good impulse, I will act on it immediately if possible, and not let the small negative voice shut it down.<br />
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I will get my house in order and keep it that way. We moved into this house sight unseen in August. The lay out is odd and the space is small for us. I am currently reworking the spaces to make them work for us. I want us to love our home.<br />
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I will write some immediate, short term, long term, and life goals and figure out what steps I need to take to reach those goals. And then work towards those goals. I will write the goals in places that I can see them. I will create (in the words of Robin Sharma) a pristine bubble of total focus on my most valuable opportunities.<br />
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I will help the boys find activities and social circles that truly feed their souls.<br />
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I will help Pete find his career path and go for it with all his might.<br />
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I will turn my eyes towards physical, mental, and spiritual health. I will exercise at least 5 times per week. I will meditate every night. I may join the <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xC_DbgpPAc">5 AM Club </a> (I am on a bit of a Robin Sharma kick today). I will figure out what eating healthy looks like for us and work towards it. I will read more and Netflix less. I will spend less time online and more time with family and friends. I will institute game night. I give church another try.<br />
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I will write every day. I will have a draft of my dissertation to my committee by December. I will have publications in the pipeline. I will have job applications sent out.<br />
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I will worry less and trust and request help more.<br />
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With these steps, I will transform a good 2014 into a great 2015.<br />
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I wish each and every one of you a truly wonderful 2015.<br />
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*Note: I did not think this post would include so many animal pictures, but when I was choosing pics from the year, these are the ones that spoke to me.<br />
<br />captiv8edhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11082449835686605409noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3624763122424469439.post-67376909082821093342014-06-29T21:33:00.000-07:002014-06-29T21:33:00.374-07:00Meal Planning on the Fly<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiL04Ew8Kwc_7nzNtydqvT6Qphe2vdnx9AQ8432CEz4ShrKXIj8igs0LYcuf6Y_jfMIWh6iw5gggcqDB8PF2wDBDC0MBm1VxHMdJ0AEMpUSqRpRuEFd7-55M8xe4uWkf8zx4AFqfRQomIKd/s1600/P1000952.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiL04Ew8Kwc_7nzNtydqvT6Qphe2vdnx9AQ8432CEz4ShrKXIj8igs0LYcuf6Y_jfMIWh6iw5gggcqDB8PF2wDBDC0MBm1VxHMdJ0AEMpUSqRpRuEFd7-55M8xe4uWkf8zx4AFqfRQomIKd/s1600/P1000952.JPG" height="213" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">It is a bit messy, but here is the fireplace viw</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This was all black and rather homely. Now it is cheerful</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Our $10 facelift for the window</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjecW_3OOwoUPDFaBJZxseOpcWUC-xl18_3EY-v3lneYLbJsQH7usvKGkPqvB-eK6t6i7suiTKy07CP71X8t0sp2tVpMmqXVRVrgX2IUaST0XP78eVfu6obo9i1VrMdcxx9KpsXg652eAhQ/s1600/P1020211.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjecW_3OOwoUPDFaBJZxseOpcWUC-xl18_3EY-v3lneYLbJsQH7usvKGkPqvB-eK6t6i7suiTKy07CP71X8t0sp2tVpMmqXVRVrgX2IUaST0XP78eVfu6obo9i1VrMdcxx9KpsXg652eAhQ/s1600/P1020211.jpg" height="320" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">They light up</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiP7oOPtwUF55DzJQGvkV2kXZB13nl2HvjbGTWs726j0ttngtb_ct45njdnlkOLlypYk4fVCQ_SFSZ4EBCGbcvxunhWiuxuMulKvzcA_AQbBcMlYjSQLqJFUsv96z_WvcOyEl1rs953m4m-/s1600/P1020213.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiP7oOPtwUF55DzJQGvkV2kXZB13nl2HvjbGTWs726j0ttngtb_ct45njdnlkOLlypYk4fVCQ_SFSZ4EBCGbcvxunhWiuxuMulKvzcA_AQbBcMlYjSQLqJFUsv96z_WvcOyEl1rs953m4m-/s1600/P1020213.JPG" height="213" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I painted the candlesticks aqua and black. I went through so many cans of aqua paint</td></tr>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_E-CS30CGc3MpE0Ji6C9WmJWdWcn9QAmZb8W0GxJ7smmZoIVHdmGPVnlnorO-JilL0VVWM-hEYG3oTw9ywrZ2uhlSLLia88rL5aD-oL_7VftEVydcbJy_g0YxIf2XgtHgV9pQycs1NQep/s1600/P1020214.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_E-CS30CGc3MpE0Ji6C9WmJWdWcn9QAmZb8W0GxJ7smmZoIVHdmGPVnlnorO-JilL0VVWM-hEYG3oTw9ywrZ2uhlSLLia88rL5aD-oL_7VftEVydcbJy_g0YxIf2XgtHgV9pQycs1NQep/s1600/P1020214.JPG" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkTygqwjt2sE9Uh3p0bZUA7CijVrk-M93BReplyoHHeYnePFXosSopVtsE1CmqKYgQQwyApdM-Om_MpzkP3G0AAy0Ry2GKKe2xtn8fhRyKMnayS16lPdKx81RVb_2JGbjqUpLQqAXm12Xo/s1600/P1020219.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkTygqwjt2sE9Uh3p0bZUA7CijVrk-M93BReplyoHHeYnePFXosSopVtsE1CmqKYgQQwyApdM-Om_MpzkP3G0AAy0Ry2GKKe2xtn8fhRyKMnayS16lPdKx81RVb_2JGbjqUpLQqAXm12Xo/s1600/P1020219.JPG" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-1yjIBHQqVhqL45sP4OVJoh5bv07v8yPlV4b8GD_vzM9WzPR2tSrJOfCi4Er4BLZOdHPt7gK3emAYZxx6RQ-w9Zba5WQCIf-js0r0-W_7w93qN1R4C-XiPR2WG5Rx37HTdUdzorgkD4ck/s1600/P1020222.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-1yjIBHQqVhqL45sP4OVJoh5bv07v8yPlV4b8GD_vzM9WzPR2tSrJOfCi4Er4BLZOdHPt7gK3emAYZxx6RQ-w9Zba5WQCIf-js0r0-W_7w93qN1R4C-XiPR2WG5Rx37HTdUdzorgkD4ck/s1600/P1020222.jpg" height="320" width="213" /></a></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiD7bHUK3N5V6nZBBch5Rh7RaIbS7c5KF6FnMpJrglJOR45-KuTH94IfJnXy3V19faE7oj_U3pP36VUjOwm_D43HgOFhvbUa8mGZOe6PLjwQ1ziQ-pAgGFoI04GclEsnpwz7iAs-T7ByLH5/s1600/P1020227.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiD7bHUK3N5V6nZBBch5Rh7RaIbS7c5KF6FnMpJrglJOR45-KuTH94IfJnXy3V19faE7oj_U3pP36VUjOwm_D43HgOFhvbUa8mGZOe6PLjwQ1ziQ-pAgGFoI04GclEsnpwz7iAs-T7ByLH5/s1600/P1020227.JPG" height="213" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Picture between the shelves that we barely got hung up before we discovered the need to move</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCtLJX9UHzcZygNmRHmuYGVWpcmO4hiGQYxTVzY_HUBlFkbNL5qtlfv4nfljI7aPoB0YmZoZCVTerDdcUN48NF1bJLIWLyzpQgQ8vGw49tkh9VutNiJOwBFhKoMGaIH8I1flWah5VVTeIV/s1600/P1020234.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCtLJX9UHzcZygNmRHmuYGVWpcmO4hiGQYxTVzY_HUBlFkbNL5qtlfv4nfljI7aPoB0YmZoZCVTerDdcUN48NF1bJLIWLyzpQgQ8vGw49tkh9VutNiJOwBFhKoMGaIH8I1flWah5VVTeIV/s1600/P1020234.JPG" height="213" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The funky bamboo light was a Goodwill Outlet score. It is very light, and they charge by the pound, so it was less than $5</td></tr>
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Here are some shots of the living room that we are now packing up.<div>
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We have about a month to pack, patch, clean, and move. I am prepping and teaching two courses, Magnus is absorbing a whole lot of math tutoring, Rin is taking 5 classes, and Luigi is drawing and trying to be a kid. </div>
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We have been eating a lot of pizza, taco bell, and rotisserie chicken! I need to get on the stick and plan some fast, easy, cheap one-dish meals that have easy clean up. I am gaining inspiration from this <a href="http://beautyandbedlam.com/easy-quick-dinner-idea/">pos</a>t. I also plan to keep sandwich and snack fixings around so that we can have fend-for-yourself nights. </div>
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I think I have asked for this type of thing before, but I am asking for you best hot weather, fast and easy, minimal mess dinners and lunches. Please share freely :)<br /><br /></div>
captiv8edhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11082449835686605409noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3624763122424469439.post-20378744215790775902014-06-22T01:08:00.000-07:002014-06-22T01:08:03.228-07:00Living life to the fullestI have reached the point where I want to stop putting things on hold. There is a consistent thrum in our lives, waiting for the next move, the next goal, the next job. If all goes as planned, I will have my degree in two years, and that may very well mean another move, hopefully to the place where we can finally settle down, just in time for our kids to graduate and move out.<br />
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This lifestyle is wearing me out. I want to enjoy life now, and I want the boys to as well. I am to the point where I don't want to look at people's facebook pages because I am tired of seeing everyone have a wonderful time and me being stuck home packing and studying (FOMO). It is time to start having wonderful times of our own.<br />
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We are making a few changes to that end.<br />
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First of all, we have started a list on a white board. This list contains all the things we like to do: hiking, biking, writing, eating, etc.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitAuDbQsw7wM6lKiENUAvSp6tZ95Q2hzMvfMX6t-lyzTGcSDayQIJqYF7F_W4AZ32PQE-ASE6sktEFq3qmg27c7CLmM4igjDaF3JbpCAW5oiMG2PmaYWvuIHIdFZotWrvokCqFJj1NPlcC/s1600/KenJoy1945_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitAuDbQsw7wM6lKiENUAvSp6tZ95Q2hzMvfMX6t-lyzTGcSDayQIJqYF7F_W4AZ32PQE-ASE6sktEFq3qmg27c7CLmM4igjDaF3JbpCAW5oiMG2PmaYWvuIHIdFZotWrvokCqFJj1NPlcC/s1600/KenJoy1945_500.jpg" height="261" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://www.bargo.info/barblog/hutton-getty-photos/">Photo</a></div>
The hope is that by listing such things, we can remember what we do like to do, and will make time and space for those things.<br />
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I hope to make more space in my life for things I love by routinizing the things I don't love.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFOGy75rfUNGEmXG4VH1uVxk4oXVGt9Gb6zdWNiX9lKNmUrwoyZ9gcl5gxmVr4AoB_qOkGFzqTih-vuQmC3yU36VNT3gzuX5aXftb2Yh9ZqJ8iEvNH1GOteUA7YS-qZhA9G90Xexse0mj5/s1600/housekeeping+on+schedule+text.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFOGy75rfUNGEmXG4VH1uVxk4oXVGt9Gb6zdWNiX9lKNmUrwoyZ9gcl5gxmVr4AoB_qOkGFzqTih-vuQmC3yU36VNT3gzuX5aXftb2Yh9ZqJ8iEvNH1GOteUA7YS-qZhA9G90Xexse0mj5/s1600/housekeeping+on+schedule+text.jpg" height="320" width="213" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://www.vavoomvintageblog.com/2014/01/homekeeping-schedules-for-modern.html">Photo</a></div>
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Instead of ignoring work and letting it pile up and then feeling guilty, or spending entire days devoted to it, I am going to try to put it in neatly marked boxes on my google calendar, tackle them and forget them. Laundry is working so well with this system that we want to add more. Room cleaning, vacuuming, dissertation writing, and exercise will all get places. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUuUriY73CNycGmJEm4PtmeJg0wrhyphenhyphendUgOj3MCd593fZ_zff07fLWcIozD7mA_Kk-o1oI8PM3ZQkzaJRsXEK5QbNt1YaGRtDFFRYWwYXztlploMKTZnxUHUF1mHA3qDBkotENRwbQvO7Js/s1600/women.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUuUriY73CNycGmJEm4PtmeJg0wrhyphenhyphendUgOj3MCd593fZ_zff07fLWcIozD7mA_Kk-o1oI8PM3ZQkzaJRsXEK5QbNt1YaGRtDFFRYWwYXztlploMKTZnxUHUF1mHA3qDBkotENRwbQvO7Js/s1600/women.jpg" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://atanaskovicana.blogspot.com/2012_04_01_archive.html">Photo</a></div>
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The next step will be scheduling the things we like to do, to make sure we remember to do them!</div>
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I have always been resistant to scheduling, discipline, and structure because it seems so stifling. If I make the structure, I find many ways to cheat. But I know I am not happy having life lived for me, so I am ready to take control.</div>
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Of course, my one big stumbling block is the electronic device I am using right now.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7vK7EKZ0Pfq0DvbcLVzL3FVvW4fNk3Fbn9HfzczReTjHWuduZZT6a__cB7T7ozdNPx1MO-LW_QP9rhld3cWWbXVsMxqfaf_eeZ8c-93HtCzzP6vex5EUMqmBFyUJGahtYYvzem4F6nVAD/s1600/bill+cosby.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7vK7EKZ0Pfq0DvbcLVzL3FVvW4fNk3Fbn9HfzczReTjHWuduZZT6a__cB7T7ozdNPx1MO-LW_QP9rhld3cWWbXVsMxqfaf_eeZ8c-93HtCzzP6vex5EUMqmBFyUJGahtYYvzem4F6nVAD/s1600/bill+cosby.jpg" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://designbeep.com/2010/09/30/55-vintage-computer-ads-which-will-make-you-compare-today-and-past/">Photo</a></div>
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I am terrible about using it and overusing it, and I have set the tone for overuse in our household. I get resentful when it is taken away or limits are placed on it, even if it is me who is placing the limits. I could free up so much time to do other things if I could pull the plug every now and then. I don't have a smartphone so my computer use is limited to the house. If I can kick myself out the door, I am good. But indoors, and keeping myself from distractions when I am working on the computer, those are more difficult. I place blocking software and then just work my way around it. That is my biggest stumbling block and I am looking for suggestions from people who have felt addicted or at least deeply attached to their devices and have found ways to curb their own enthusiasm.</div>
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Tomorrow we will be trying to revel in summer. Part of the issue is that summer takes a while to get going here, but I think we might have achieved summer weather. On tap-berry picking and a hike.</div>
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<a href="http://www.gleanmilwaukee.org/classes-resources/harvesting-fruit-methods-resources/">http://www.gleanmilwaukee.org/classes-resources/harvesting-fruit-methods-resources/</a></div>
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I wish everyone (including me!) a joyous First Summer Weekend! </div>
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<br />captiv8edhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11082449835686605409noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3624763122424469439.post-43795944563927943862014-06-16T12:21:00.001-07:002014-06-16T12:32:38.579-07:00We'll always have laundry!We are packing and getting ready to move, and everyone gets into the act.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGLAhoOfmvKrQ1vOeaASDy2kZISYdb5rMeqlWe82CtTZUQF6fQIgBSsM4huSQ8mQRMV5ZyRlTC9sGnytIx_2_Hl9EosWnagrEzFVllzi3jan29ndSdM1F-lR2b-i348enPY1YxnUbMHYhyphenhyphen/s1600/P1020649.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGLAhoOfmvKrQ1vOeaASDy2kZISYdb5rMeqlWe82CtTZUQF6fQIgBSsM4huSQ8mQRMV5ZyRlTC9sGnytIx_2_Hl9EosWnagrEzFVllzi3jan29ndSdM1F-lR2b-i348enPY1YxnUbMHYhyphenhyphen/s1600/P1020649.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
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However, I am trying to get pictures of projects before I pack them up. Today I want to show off my laundry. First I must apologize for the quality of the pics. I am not good at taking room shots. I have looked at many many many house and apartment ads in the past couple of weeks, and I take comfort in knowing that I am not alone in this! Room pictures are hard, and fuzzy, dark pictures of corners and toilets seem to be the norm. I don't have time to work on my skill at this time, so I will simply join the fray for the time being.<br />
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I want to share with you my most exciting discovery. The <a href="http://www.dollartree.com/home.jsp">Dollar Tree</a> carries wall decals!! My kitchen has white cabinets, and I thought it would be cute to add some decals. I found an owl decal that looks a lot like <a href="http://www.wallums.com/brother-sister-owl.html">this one</a> except the price tag. I bought a couple. But then I found some very cute curtains for the kitchen that sealed its fate: the kitchen now has a cute Italian baker theme, and the owls seemed out of place. The Dude suggested I move them to the laundry room, which is right off of the kitchen and was quite bland and white. I moved them over, but the space needed more. I went back to the Dollar Tree and picked up a few more owls. Then I noticed butterflies and flowers, and decided to make a scene. And again, sorry for the quality! The space is tiny and it is hard to work in. But hopefully this gives you the idea.<br />
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The upper cabinets. The little bits are colorful leaves.<br />
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Dryer front</div>
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Door to the outside:</div>
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Coat rack next to the back door:</div>
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Close ups on the doors.<br />
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So, that is the laundry room. The project cost under $10, and it makes me smile ever time I see it. Speaking of laundry, I am happy to report that laundry day continues to be a success. Twice a week, 3-4 loads per day, all folded and put away, at least by the next morning. I am going to add linen day as its own day on the calendar, twice a month on Wednesdays. </div>
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<br />captiv8edhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11082449835686605409noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3624763122424469439.post-78332698804541078252014-06-05T16:11:00.001-07:002014-06-05T16:11:57.214-07:00A most unsettled weekMy week was supposed to go like this:<br />
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Finish my syllabus, get some lessons planned, take lots of walks, go on a hike, tidy the house, do some painting.<br />
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No. It hasn't gone like that at all.<br />
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Instead:<br />
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The city is installing a sewer line on our street, which means that there is crew working outside our house every day, with loud machines, vibrations, and occasional house shaking bangs.<br />
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We had the landlady visit to look at some issues, which is nerve wracking because she has expectations of cleanliness. Although the house was clean by our standards, she noted the carpet is "pretty beat up"<br />
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<a href="http://impactthriftstores.org/2012/03/chore-wars-a-spring-cleaning-challenge/">Picture</a></div>
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We found out the Rin's dream high school might not accept him (after they already accepted him and he turned down choice two), because they don't know what to do with a homeschool record.<br />
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I decided to crack the whip and make Rin finish the school work he has been slacking on. This has resulted in me sitting on the couch with him for pretty much nonstop since Monday. He is getting the work done though.<br />
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Tuesday we found out that Magnus is in jeopardy of failing one of his classes, so he has to spend every waking hour researching and writing.<br />
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<a href="http://www.writtalin.com/manadvice/search-balance-push-crash/">Picture</a></div>
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Yesterday we got a letter letting us know that the landlady intends to sell the house and so we have to move by July 15.<br />
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My first reaction was deep sadness because I am finally getting the house to look like I want it to. ( I will still take and post pics soon)<br />
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And today, we had a swarm of bees in our yard.<br />
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So yeah, quite different from how I planned.<br />
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Focusing on the positive-I got my syllabi done, Magnus should be able to pull the class off with a C and his other two classes are fine, Magnus got the classes he wants for the fall, there are some houses available, the landlady is giving us a bit longer than required and she will prorate the rent if we move earlier. And bees are cool.captiv8edhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11082449835686605409noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3624763122424469439.post-61611021693828801392014-05-30T16:24:00.001-07:002014-05-30T16:24:10.633-07:00My examples #yesallwomenI am departing from my usual posting style to dive into the fray of all women.<br />
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I will give three examples from my own life to demonstrate what girls and women deal with.<br />
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1. I spend most of my 8th grade English class being harassed by a boy who, thanks to the luck of the alphabet, sat next to me in the back of the room. Pretty much every day, he would show me his penis, try to get me to touch it, rub his foot on my butt, tell me the state of his erection, and tell me he was going to follow me and rape me. All year.<br />
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Why didn't I speak up? Because I was an 8th grader, going through a lot of bodily changes, and was extremely awkward at this point in my life. Plus, my teacher was a man. I could not bring this up. I was brought up with the belief that the body is shameful, and that girls are worse than boys. I never really had sex education that taught me to respect my body. I don't remember any sex ed at all, beyond a biology class and a primer on feminine hygiene project. My social desirability was in high gear, and my level of embarrassment about the situation was HUGE. I don't know if I told anyone at all ever.<br />
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In 9th grade, I had the same guy alphabetically near me. The classroom was set up differently so he couldn't harass me without being seen. He started up with me one movie day, but my absolute heroine of a teacher caught on quickly and told us to knock it off. She assumed consent, but still, just calling out the behavior made it stop. He never bothered anyplace other than the classroom.<br />
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2. I was out cruising (yes, it was a thing in the 80s still) with my sister. She needed to talk to this guy, and he was a passenger in this other guy's car. I swapped passenger seats, so now I was in the car with some guy I didn't know, and the other guy was in my sister's car. I was 16.<br />
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The guy took me for a drive, and we "ended up" behind the football stadium. We started making out, and we moved to the back seat. I didn't want to have sex with him, and I told him no. He tried to explain why we should, I tried to talk my way out of it. He was quite a bit larger than me, and we were in a really dark and desolate area of the world. I told him I didn't want to do this, and he ignored me. I tried scratching his back, and he just said, "Hey now" I quickly realized that he had me outweighed and outmaneuvered, and that if I didn't fight him, he wouldn't hurt me anymore than taking my virginity, my pride, and my sense of safety. I let him do what he was going to do.<br />
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He took me back to meet my sister and it was all pretty civilized. I had talked myself down from it, explained to myself that it wasn't really rape.<br />
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I called my best friend the next day and she assured me that it was indeed rape. I told my parents, and they were awesome. I was given a rape kit and it was determined that I wouldn't have enough evidence to prove anything but consensual sex.<br />
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In the following weeks, I found out that two people I knew had been raped by this same guy. 1 of them had been gang raped by him. But this was after the fact and the police told me I couldn't bring it into evidence, since it might have just been me getting friends to make up stories. The case was dead in the water.<br />
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I got revenge in the only way I knew how-I threw a Coke on his car. When he accused me of it later, I told him he couldn't prove it was me, he had no evidence.<br />
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3. I was 18. My roommate had a boyfriend, the boy from back home. He seemed like a nice guy. My roommate invited me to a party at the boyfriend's apartment. I think there were 5 guys living there. I had hung out with them a bit. They were boisterous, but nice.<br />
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I had no concerns going to to this party. We were drinking rum drinks. People were lighting them and sucking them through straws, or drinking them mixed with fruit. Only later did I discover this was 151 proof rum.<br />
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One of the roommates was super hot. I started talking to him. I was really really drunk. He took me to his room. This was 25 years ago and I was really drunk, so I don't remember now if I wanted to have sex with him or not. But I think I might have tried to turn him down, and he was persistent. I had learned from the last time that guys that are bigger than me don't always take no for an answer. So, we did the deed.<br />
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And then things got weird. I rolled over to get out of the bed, and one of the roommates was lying there on the floor, listening and who knows what else. His bedroom had a bit of a hallway. I walked through that hallway to to leave his bedroom, and there were two more roommates, standing in the doorway making out. Just to be clear, they were in the bedroom. So there were 3 other people in this bedroom in addition to me and the d'bag.<br />
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I left the room and went to wake up my roommate's boyfriend to ask for a ride home. He reached out and started kissing me. This was like a grotesque house of mirrors, with no clean break to freedom and safety! I reminded him that he was my roommate's boyfriend, and that I just wanted a ride home. He took me home.<br />
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Oddly enough, I chose to go back into that den of iniquity one more time. I was so foggy headed about everything that happened, and whether I had said no or not, that I needed to know for sure. I got in touch with the guy and went over to his apartment. This time it was just me and him. We played chess.<br />
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It was nice, and he was being decent. We were sober. Then I suggested we wrestle. He pinned me down on the bed. I told him strongly, loudly and clearly no. He continued. I said NO again. He was quite a few inches taller than me, and obviously worked out. He had me pinned. It was terrifying. He took my wrists, held them above my hand, restraining both wrists just one of his hands. He was still on top of me. He held me like that for a few seconds, applied a little extra pressure on my wrists, said, "Its not worth it" climbed off of me, got up and went to the bathroom. He didn't not engage me again.<br />
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So, just to clarify the timeline and events for you: I went to his house, and spent about an hour playing a couple of games of chess and having a really nice time with him. I then spent about 5-15 minutes engaging in some fully clothed wrestling with him. I know that might sound weird, but it was the late 80s, pro-wrestling was big. And as soon as I said No to him (again, at this point, we were clothed, and I said No at the first sign of escalation towards sex) he immediately turned on me, displayed his power over me and then refused to talk to me ever again. I told my roommate about it the next day, and she would not talk to me about it. At all. It was very important that her narrative remain intact, I suppose.<br />
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There you have it. A peek into my young adult years. There are many more horrible, and some wonderful stories. But this is all I want to share. I was watching the wonderful documentary about <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1785612/">Kathleen Hanna</a> that is currently available on Netflix. She and I are about the same age, and she and her band and her friends were trying to do something in the late 80s and early 90s, to change things. To make the world safer and more accessible for girls and women. But it seems like we are still right where we were. The sense of entitlement that some men have, their right to have sex, is still alive and well.<br />
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I was very very very lucky. I had a lot of twists and turns between the ages of 16 and 20. However, when I was 20 I found a man who has always treated me with respect and as a partner. Luckily I was smart enough to see what a gem I had.<br />
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This was a very hard post to write and a very hard post to share. I am sad that I went through it, and I am sad that I don't always feel like I can freely share the traumas I have experienced. And I am heartbroken that so many girls and women are still experiencing shit like this.<br />
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I will end it in the only way I can think of. One of the bad little dogs wearing a paper cup hat.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjc-t3e_FySotBKvVsZ67iVxLuKYDXPDZyrk4y-41rGopCvUWlYxKRbrFH_ow1CukbAnH4DEWbbtRDXr6cPtCHnjCr6S51_zYSqAWKvaHymD9rorLuPTiOZ2qeYGKzypIcGssdCPVupPEl2/s1600/Ralphie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjc-t3e_FySotBKvVsZ67iVxLuKYDXPDZyrk4y-41rGopCvUWlYxKRbrFH_ow1CukbAnH4DEWbbtRDXr6cPtCHnjCr6S51_zYSqAWKvaHymD9rorLuPTiOZ2qeYGKzypIcGssdCPVupPEl2/s1600/Ralphie.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />captiv8edhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11082449835686605409noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3624763122424469439.post-71884107447647612862014-05-28T09:28:00.000-07:002014-05-28T09:28:11.295-07:00Why we can't have nice things!!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrId67S2OQer2O1wuzskFALmgAVV6k7twnUj0ZGF9wxCDf6HybDBPDc0cWo15bOvo7iLOA4pnfk4uhyVnOTR6c3P9-4oxIAqDh2Sy56YD3O4LFUq-8AbjN7riakgSeA8XwgSJa-_axdFE6/s1600/P1000046.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrId67S2OQer2O1wuzskFALmgAVV6k7twnUj0ZGF9wxCDf6HybDBPDc0cWo15bOvo7iLOA4pnfk4uhyVnOTR6c3P9-4oxIAqDh2Sy56YD3O4LFUq-8AbjN7riakgSeA8XwgSJa-_axdFE6/s1600/P1000046.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
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I am plodding away in the home decoration department. I promise I will post pictures when it is done. However, I had something happen on Friday that fired me up for a blog post. Caution, this may cover a lot of territory!!</div>
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See those dogs? Cute, no? Well...let me tell you a story. </div>
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I am doing the front room in aqua and orange accents. I love these colors. So cheerful. Our walls are white, and the colors really pop. When we moved in, i had no idea what I wanted to do, but our carpets were either new or at least nicely cleaned. So, I bought some rugs to throw down. Sadly, the rugs were ugly. I have been trying to replace them as I go. I was at Ross and saw this lovely aqua rug there. Good for the front entry area. 4 X 6 and only $20!! Sold. I brought it home, wrestled with whether or not it was too much aqua, decided no, and laid it out. It is soft and colorful. Purchasing something new is always a big deal for me. </div>
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It looks something like this:</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBycHUOKp6oghioIEoF-LcA6-SoeUwZY6zuWWYTZ5dj9TqQEKXiIjPhKoQT7CZoaS-zgwL2D9AQNeT7NoI6rAmoIbNvDLj7FDBDA5-BSOVRiZdeimKXJA-LfoSO87Sude7R49E0sI_q3nw/s1600/Aqua+rug.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBycHUOKp6oghioIEoF-LcA6-SoeUwZY6zuWWYTZ5dj9TqQEKXiIjPhKoQT7CZoaS-zgwL2D9AQNeT7NoI6rAmoIbNvDLj7FDBDA5-BSOVRiZdeimKXJA-LfoSO87Sude7R49E0sI_q3nw/s1600/Aqua+rug.jpeg" /></a></div>
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Felt good about my decision, and went out for a while. I came home, and one of those cute little monsters pictured above had puked up a hairball on it! Wait, you are saying, those look like dogs! Well, they are, and they are not known for their hairball skills, but this time? Oh yes. Hairball. On the very white part of the rug. Not even 3 hours after installation. I cleaned it, and it was still stained. A second go-over seems to have taken care of the stain. But now they are obsessed with stretching on it, and digging their claws into it. Again, I promise that these are NOT cats, they have simply turned cat-like with the introduction of this rug.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPXd_WhsH9Yl2YwbTp1pY9k0HK5leMt_uzzbYyrIkbflRQH9QEHipniFVioq5aQEFhQpRTI7_KV76-IG9amunQHs3mmXs23cyzfKm9V-KhrD-rT49LYMzcaWsyqUD7qg5UamPvs4aUR_f7/s1600/P1010607.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPXd_WhsH9Yl2YwbTp1pY9k0HK5leMt_uzzbYyrIkbflRQH9QEHipniFVioq5aQEFhQpRTI7_KV76-IG9amunQHs3mmXs23cyzfKm9V-KhrD-rT49LYMzcaWsyqUD7qg5UamPvs4aUR_f7/s1600/P1010607.JPG" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
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This is symptomatic of a larger problem. I know that "they" say nice things and kids (or pets) don't go together, but it seems like a lot of people figure it out. It mystifies me. I think I am getting better, but for years I have never been able to figure out what my decorating style is, how to pull rooms together, how to keep things tidy, and how to pay for it all. I remember once standing in line at Lowe's, and there was a lady in front of me spending $400 on flowers for her yard. It was mind boggling to me. $400 just pretty things for the yard. Even when I see DIY-on a budget stuff, there is still a significant chunk of change spent. We had a brief period of home ownership, and we were so strapped that even buying paint was a luxury. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWIN8g6Gv9KtIEGE3F8mflrsj_5j0L_Nk42RiDV0BshwKvyu1m8qohB3W4r5qyVU6dt0syw9dGfmuygsatNn2Stx7qvq4_29jhDwL_0N7gDP2UWSqkfvTihfQ2VTHtm34y3X-UU4T7FHnL/s1600/small-home-decorating-ideas-photos.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWIN8g6Gv9KtIEGE3F8mflrsj_5j0L_Nk42RiDV0BshwKvyu1m8qohB3W4r5qyVU6dt0syw9dGfmuygsatNn2Stx7qvq4_29jhDwL_0N7gDP2UWSqkfvTihfQ2VTHtm34y3X-UU4T7FHnL/s1600/small-home-decorating-ideas-photos.jpg" height="320" width="312" /></a></div>
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We will never look like this</div>
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<a href="http://designhome.pics/small-house-decorating/22/small-home-decorating-ideas-photos-small-home-decor-ideas/">Picture Source</a> </div>
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I am always amazed that people buy homes and immediately start redoing rooms-painting, decorating, adding bathrooms. Even apart from the cost of it, I don't get the time factor, and just knowing how to decorate and what a person wants. I have been spending quite a bit of time decorating our house, and I feel so guilty about spending time and money on "frivolity." I am also concerned that I am taking time away from my work. How do people survive that for months or even years? I am not pointing fingers or holding myself up as morally superior. I WISH that I had the patience and talent for nice things. But at least I have cute dogs. I guess I must take some solace in that.</div>
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When I look deeper and wider into my life, I must admit that this is widespread with me. I am plagued by feelings of frivolity. It happens in stupid places. When I walk out of a bathroom stall, I will see women grooming-fixing hair, reapplying makeup. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtYSQhck1Ynqz0MnY8Jofhu7uq53hF7iiTuJ7W4_vubyIfg0vMRNOZE_QXhm9rGcTjdzg_3ghHbuuDhYhImR_P9xi13zJnd5PCmS-EPsmyQxOV_vb3aVfSZ2NBeZGUs0m_5Oaq5_1_5MDG/s1600/hairdresser-no-copyright.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtYSQhck1Ynqz0MnY8Jofhu7uq53hF7iiTuJ7W4_vubyIfg0vMRNOZE_QXhm9rGcTjdzg_3ghHbuuDhYhImR_P9xi13zJnd5PCmS-EPsmyQxOV_vb3aVfSZ2NBeZGUs0m_5Oaq5_1_5MDG/s1600/hairdresser-no-copyright.jpg" height="243" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://lipmag.com/opinion/is-it-okay-to-have-hairdresserphobia/">Picture Source</a></div>
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Me? I feel so sill and vain so I might give my hair a swipe after I wash my hands. I don't judge the women who do it, I just see it as normal. But I can't bring myself to do it. I sometimes go through three or four outfits before going out, but it is only because the others look stupid or bad. I swear I have no idea how to dress or do my hair. And I am a very messy eater. </div>
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I fall into this habit with events as well. When living life to the fullest, people can often be found on mountaintops during the day and in bars at night. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyrj23Kyut6beWaprs50KdI7-cwqfxtzH1Uz3KWeR0BmqNmLHeNdD0yg5VCUvDiAs66qdhjXqwwi1n1stYrYrTypJ7ki_hwh2FYpu30ImxOR8aAWd1994-o01N5cjrBHP7wUgZ6ayes-W3/s1600/bars.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyrj23Kyut6beWaprs50KdI7-cwqfxtzH1Uz3KWeR0BmqNmLHeNdD0yg5VCUvDiAs66qdhjXqwwi1n1stYrYrTypJ7ki_hwh2FYpu30ImxOR8aAWd1994-o01N5cjrBHP7wUgZ6ayes-W3/s1600/bars.jpg" height="212" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://www.twentysomethingindy.com/2012/06/06/making-friends-post-grad/">Picture Source</a></div>
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I do both of these things sometimes. But more often, I am consumed with guilt, and it drives me away from the activities. The guilt stems from concerns about money or about time, or both. I feel like I should be spending the money on something else, or I should be using the time to be working. So instead I stay home and read news on the computer. I read a lot of news.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj07ti3ke1Jp_Mrgkb5J0sCT9nD_FD7iciukHwlOV5705oXGlxFs5rDMoFGp0ppScsd3_sT4hyphenhyphenx4ceIhBhcgwd5qUd67kNGmkG_hTEUxSScJxU5WDwf3RkHaBYdw30eKUDNqmJstKcr8oNm/s1600/woman+reading.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj07ti3ke1Jp_Mrgkb5J0sCT9nD_FD7iciukHwlOV5705oXGlxFs5rDMoFGp0ppScsd3_sT4hyphenhyphenx4ceIhBhcgwd5qUd67kNGmkG_hTEUxSScJxU5WDwf3RkHaBYdw30eKUDNqmJstKcr8oNm/s1600/woman+reading.jpg" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://librarylink.regent.edu/?p=2265">Picture Source</a></div>
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These patterns are so engrained in me that I am not sure if I can change them. But I am going to try. It is time to start convincing myself that it is okay to have and do nice things.</div>
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captiv8edhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11082449835686605409noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3624763122424469439.post-85242518613170002852014-05-09T13:15:00.000-07:002014-05-09T13:15:01.053-07:00CommunityYou know how on TV, people tend to have a close knit group of friends who are like family, and/or a close knit family?<br />
Friends, New Girl, How I Met Your Mother all revolve around friendships and romantic relationships. Brothers & Sisters and Parenthood are based on big families that love and like each other. We can see this trend back to the beginning of television, with the Ricardos and Mertzes on I Love Lucy and the Honeymooners' Kramers and Nortons enjoying deep and abiding friendships.<br />
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<a href="http://jacksonupperco.com/2013/08/06/the-ten-best-episodes-of-the-honeymooners-classic-39/">Picture source</a></div>
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If only life were like tv. It is not, at least not for me. My hair has never been bouncy and shiny. My kids are adorable but do not come with a laugh track. And my family and friends have always been more complicated than I thought they would be.<br />
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I grew up as the youngest of 9. My mother came from a family with 6 kids and my father from a family of 11 kids. I should be the most connected person in the world!! But instead, we moved to a small town when I was a baby. The town was at least an hour away from any family, and this made us special occasion visits instead of drop-ins. My grandparents were all dead by the time I was 1. My father worked an hour away and my mom never drove, so we were pretty stationary. We lived in a small town, but as I said we moved there when I was a baby, so we were never fully integrated. We went to church, but it never felt like community, at least not to me. I remember playing outside, and my neighbors' would all stand outside gabbing for a long time. I felt jealous that my own mother wasn't participating. She was plenty social, but never made strong inroads with the ladies in the neighborhood. I never had the experience of running in and out of neighbors' houses, each mother or father accepting us as their own, and families vacationing together.<br />
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<a href="http://flickrhivemind.net/Tags/outdoorpool">Picture source</a></div>
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When I was growing up, I felt quite close to several of my siblings, but one by one, they left, most of them moving across the country or across the world.<br />
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<a href="http://unioncitypostcards.blogspot.com/2011/10/moving-day-in-union-city-early-1920s.html">Picture source</a></div>
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I attended a variety of schools growing up, thanks to some moves back and forth between public and private school. I was pretty awkward in school, and never had a big group of friends. I would have a friend or two, but never a clan. In high school, we moved to the southwest, another jolt. It was a city, so easier to break in, but getting there for sophomore year did not leave a long time to get comfortable.<br />
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<a href="http://vintagesevensisters.tumblr.com/page/3">Picture source</a></div>
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Right after high school I moved far away from my parents. I had a brief stint with one of my sisters, but for the most part was on my own. I did not do college right after high school and I think that is one way that I really missed out. I think that college is a time to learn to navigate roommates and friendships, and also a time to build a tribe. I went into the workforce instead, and it was a workforce with heavy turnover. I remember once being invited to a friend's house for dinner. I thought it was going to be some event, but it was literally just dinner, and a chance to hang out. That was so foreign to me. Unfortunately, she was a good friend but a terrible employee who pilfered just about one of every item from the store where we worked.<br />
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<a href="http://www.meetup.com/Portland-Out-and-About-Group/events/15265056/">Picture source</a></div>
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During my early 20s, I worked and had work friends, but no true strong bonds that have stood the test of time, or even spilled over very much outside of work. I was fortunate to have a very close and loving mother-in-law that filled many gaps for me. However, one person does not a tribe make. I continually tried churches as a way to find community and feel accepted, but it never worked out. Throughout the year, I have stumbled into some bad groups, and tried to create some bad groups myself. </div>
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<a href="http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2013/04/dont-think-of-ugly-people-how-parenting-advice-has-changed/275108/">Picture source</a></div>
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I have had some off and on success with parenting groups, and I did eventually find a community, although I was never as active and involved as I wanted to be. Then I moved onto new adventures: grad school. Grad school was wonderful for community, even if it is short term. We were all thrown together, with similar work schedules and interests. I had coffee dates, parties to attend, people to drink with, and hiking buddies. It was great. But it was still tricky to balance because I had kids and most people didn't. I like spending lots of time with my husband, and I need uninterrupted study times. But I found a balance I was satisfied with, and it was good.</div>
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<a href="http://www.libraryofbirmingham.com/ansteycollegearchive1890s">Picture Source</a></div>
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And then I moved again, this time to an area with very few graduate students. I do have a few friends here, but still lacking real community. I think one problem is that community takes time. I know we probably won't be here for longer than 5 years, if that. But there is also the question of how to meet people. I am homeschooling two boys, so we need to spend a lot of time at home, doing schoolwork (theirs and mine). We are trying to save money, so taking them to things that cost money or will involve buying lunch is tricky. And I am trying to figure out what my interests are so that I can find people who share them. And I still really like spending time with my family. So I am at a place now where I have friends, but no community. Once again we have tried church and, for various reasons, it is not working out. I have friends here in my town, and I have lots of friends spread out around the world that I keep in touch with on Facebook. </div>
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<a href="http://www.chethams.org.uk/leech/leech_pauline.html">Picture Source</a></div>
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My husband, sons, and I are very close and we spend a lot of time together. But I am still far from all of my family, sitting up here in the corner of the country. My awesome mother-in-law resides in the opposite corner. The amazing relationships I used to have with my silbings have eroded over time, due to distance and time constraints. It is at the point now where I can track one-on-one family conversations in terms of years, not weeks or months. Why has it gotten to this point? Busyness on my part and on their part, and fear of rejection. I have been a full-time student for the past 9 years. And I have been a full-time mother for 17 years. For a lot of folks, either of these occupations would create a level of dependence on those around them, strengthening their bonds. For me, it has led me to pull away more, or place people in one box or another-these are my parenting friends and support group, these are my school friends and support group. Family (as in my parents and brothers and sisters) should span the range, but in my reality, it hasn't happened. I am working at rebuilding the bonds, but it takes time. </div>
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I think one major hindrance for me has been mobility. Community takes trust, and trust is built over time. I grew up in a town where I was a newbie. I went to K-2 with one group of kids, 3-6 with another, and 7-9 with another. In 10th grade, we moved across the country and I had to start over. Then I graduated and moved and moved and moved again. I had finally found the community where we could lay down roots and settle in, and we moved for grad school. We had pretty good success in our grad school community, but then moved again. And I know there will be another move in the next few years. What I hate about it most is that I am setting my boys up for the same existence-far from extended family, little ties, and high mobility interfering with their groups and friendships. </div>
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<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hobo">Picture source</a></div>
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I know that there are people who can move to a new place and immediately find community. At the same time, I had three separate posts on my facebook wall in the past few days, each addressing a loss or lack of community, and loneliness. I know I am not alone in my loneliness. </div>
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Putting on my sociologist's hat and looking at this from a societal point of view: I think there are two major contributors to the lack of community, besides our increased mobility. The first is television.<br />
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<a href="http://spinoff.comicbookresources.com/2013/02/28/nielsen-will-track-web-viewing-but-will-it-make-much-of-a-difference/">Picture source</a></div>
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TV brought us into our homes and entertained us. There are many positive social aspects that come from TV. We are alerted to news quickly, and we have a subject of conversation among strangers and across generations. We have been watching Mad Men as a family. This has spurred so many conversations about history, advertising, sexism, alcoholism, and filmmaking. However, TV is also a device that allows us to feel a part of a community without having to reach out. I think that without TVs, the suburbs would have been a lot more social.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFVVIyi0Ug0-Hn1ATncVcLRnxg9iFC6wyBrvWI1JvnK1h6mASEGlfKhyphenhyphenUjGVJzYOm7-r1BxM7aCs2dutAnV_NjPJ_Z2SWRc1hyWxOlnI3bXQjCmpw1HFiEa_87txBR6Vei7b0xHJX8GeQ9/s1600/computer.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFVVIyi0Ug0-Hn1ATncVcLRnxg9iFC6wyBrvWI1JvnK1h6mASEGlfKhyphenhyphenUjGVJzYOm7-r1BxM7aCs2dutAnV_NjPJ_Z2SWRc1hyWxOlnI3bXQjCmpw1HFiEa_87txBR6Vei7b0xHJX8GeQ9/s1600/computer.jpg" height="215" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://imgarcade.com/1/1940s-computer/">Picture source</a></div>
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The Internet is another contributor, I believe. Internet connections are odd things. On the one hand, message boards and social media has given us the opportunity to meet people we would never meet, and connect with old friends and family in ways never before possible. We can keep a running Words with Friends game going, just like yesteryear's bridge nights. We know about babies as soon as they are born, and can see their videos almost instantly. People who have social anxiety or different opinions/interests than is the norm in their community can reach out to likeminded people, and feel a little less alone. These are positives of the Internet.<br />
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And yet.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOXZwKP9pS1GVzdYkhn-ED7t43F9W6YO4r5qDP0fTTGZT1OkLhnzc70XhewatQabspOep5hp5QrdAn6u4IA0qWAdEkpgaUC1quLFhyGzxREHHBfxwOSVNrexbqzgpJ7tCHFRZaL40jdJIT/s1600/photos-of-loneliness-and-sadness.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOXZwKP9pS1GVzdYkhn-ED7t43F9W6YO4r5qDP0fTTGZT1OkLhnzc70XhewatQabspOep5hp5QrdAn6u4IA0qWAdEkpgaUC1quLFhyGzxREHHBfxwOSVNrexbqzgpJ7tCHFRZaL40jdJIT/s1600/photos-of-loneliness-and-sadness.jpg" height="212" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://moazzamshaikh.wordpress.com/2014/05/03/guest-post-how-did-i-manage-to-overcome-depression-and-loneliness/">Picture source</a></div>
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The Internet has also reduced incentives for reaching out to the lady next door, or even talking to the person sitting at the table with you. Why ask for info when you can Google it? I think it reduces are feeling of loneliness, which leads us to reach out less, which ultimately leaves us lonely for real, physically present contact. </div>
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Of course, anyone reading my story can see that my issues are not caused by television or the Internet, although I think each one exacerbates my condition. And of course I have chosen a career that is solitary and focused for big chunks of time.</div>
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How do we get beyond it and start building real, meaningful community? I have no idea. I am just flailing about it in the dark. Like this, but in the dark:</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYHb5LeogfDWtCKnhba5Oe7ypCR6I5w3m4eGlxLaXPCxpPk7oUcifHat4lhRL35p4sK7018CxRbttdM4RreZI-ZqBPIbpANoqPScBXrTLmmixy0hPpt98WkzqPnoLHNVTStuVdiU1wOdJA/s1600/dancers.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYHb5LeogfDWtCKnhba5Oe7ypCR6I5w3m4eGlxLaXPCxpPk7oUcifHat4lhRL35p4sK7018CxRbttdM4RreZI-ZqBPIbpANoqPScBXrTLmmixy0hPpt98WkzqPnoLHNVTStuVdiU1wOdJA/s1600/dancers.jpg" height="247" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://www.thegloss.com/2013/04/24/sex-and-dating/what-dating-was-like-in-the-1920s/">Picture source</a></div>
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<br />captiv8edhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11082449835686605409noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3624763122424469439.post-8064291777218125662014-05-05T14:44:00.001-07:002014-05-05T14:44:37.512-07:00Out damn spot: On the drudgery of housework<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjh77ACJv7XMxe5OKRaApfwpebF8QwENt7XU-Yh2SFmk3ry5ikpYNRoY1NWsExc_xL_Y909rJi6syfuOykFx-t0WFw5lkirOKWY5wmGDZ6jAX-UgRD3GsIqPGsdGs5LjJdu7cGYIvmgO_P_/s1600/Housework+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjh77ACJv7XMxe5OKRaApfwpebF8QwENt7XU-Yh2SFmk3ry5ikpYNRoY1NWsExc_xL_Y909rJi6syfuOykFx-t0WFw5lkirOKWY5wmGDZ6jAX-UgRD3GsIqPGsdGs5LjJdu7cGYIvmgO_P_/s1600/Housework+3.jpg" /></a></div>
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Can we talk about housework? I am truly terrible at it. Here is the thing. I go on this epic cleaning binges, and will put a full week into getting the house top to bottom clean. And then I forget. Just for the longest time. If the Dude didn't do laundry and dishes, then they might not get done. You know all the wives that complain about their husbands' apparent blindness to dirt? yeah, that is me, the blind one. And it isn't because I am lazy or I think a task is beneath me. Sometimes I am too tired, and sometimes I am too busy, but often it is because I forget.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcb0mHsa3Io_0L70Out56bHUSQ9bQIx7pRlB1Oc8pJVdSAYrCk640xxujpS1r3iFFhHBZF0CFi9a_nhn93oF2VO5nf6R9Go4f8wk1-hYGOrOaTxm7TQENgcB2JSb8sOmPrURclYIXduiHb/s1600/Housework+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcb0mHsa3Io_0L70Out56bHUSQ9bQIx7pRlB1Oc8pJVdSAYrCk640xxujpS1r3iFFhHBZF0CFi9a_nhn93oF2VO5nf6R9Go4f8wk1-hYGOrOaTxm7TQENgcB2JSb8sOmPrURclYIXduiHb/s1600/Housework+1.jpg" height="320" width="272" /></a></div>
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This is not me.</div>
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I am fortunate to have a husband who doesn't think twice about jumping into the fray. I suppose that is one of the perks of spending his teen years with a single dad who travelled a lot. They both lived a bachelor lifestyle, and so for him, tidying the kitchen and folding laundry is a norm. Some women talk about "training their husbands" to get them to pitch in. My husband has always embraced the idea that he lives here and the mess needs to be cleaned.</div>
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I have never been a scheduler. And without external pressure, schedules fly out the window anyway. But I am going to try again. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg91pcSucetO5VVWJ2yyff9FaXQXlPAp_k4q7KftSJJkRU11BhiEJvTvMYmoNQtPKsFyY6s8BHf0jrr4-Scop7h5Yewczyvk8jGmMqnZ63YeOdj5o-ZbFtFJa7wOOw7xqqny79eYO0YBPtj/s1600/Housework+5.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg91pcSucetO5VVWJ2yyff9FaXQXlPAp_k4q7KftSJJkRU11BhiEJvTvMYmoNQtPKsFyY6s8BHf0jrr4-Scop7h5Yewczyvk8jGmMqnZ63YeOdj5o-ZbFtFJa7wOOw7xqqny79eYO0YBPtj/s1600/Housework+5.jpeg" /></a></div>
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What is working:</div>
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A few months back, I handed down a rule that every time a person uses a dish, they must wash it immediately and put it in the dishwasher to dry. I know a lot of people simply fill their dishwasher as they go, but this didn't work for us. First of all, putting clean dishes away is a challenge for us, so then the dirty dishes would back up because the clean dishes were in the dishwasher. Second, it can lead to a back up where we would have no clean bowls, but the dishwasher isn't yet full. Third, we would get the backwash that hits the clean dishes and so we would often have to run them again. My family did not like to rinse the dishes before dishwashing them, because at that point, you might as well wash them. When we started washing all the dishes, we didn't want the counters to get full, and if we asked people to wash, dry, and put away every time they ate, that wouldn't happen. It turns out that right next to our sink is a GIANT drying rack:<br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEja5PkuTWUx2m3mResdh3AGjL1KNKrcfsid9NHCzycUSzAqbamTH5MfWDEKESR5S5aGx3LSEM5ffH57pSyuOyOBSuPem1IMA26VH24eXvcXWYDOnelTH2Eyeg9nsJ5YX3tk8vR5s25jmLRX/s1600/1950s-dishwasher-wall-mount.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEja5PkuTWUx2m3mResdh3AGjL1KNKrcfsid9NHCzycUSzAqbamTH5MfWDEKESR5S5aGx3LSEM5ffH57pSyuOyOBSuPem1IMA26VH24eXvcXWYDOnelTH2Eyeg9nsJ5YX3tk8vR5s25jmLRX/s1600/1950s-dishwasher-wall-mount.jpg" height="283" width="320" /></a></div>
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(Note: ours is NOT this cool)</div>
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So now people wash a dish when they use it and then put it in the dishwasher to dry. This is actually working! Yes there is still some spillover, sometimes people are busy or lazy, and so sometimes things get backed up. But by and large, we are using this system and it is working. Our kitchen is staying a lot cleaner. </div>
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What needs work:</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJVXqXNDMo-f_hCIJCCj0n2rYlGZK11XL4XdnwfgD4zNWmhORr5JGTtaDduxhTHXgsVArnU_gsrZQxuwESWpyiTKXFvJYWIaodEgRj5af9E17XhxTf9wdNUbZKu1rr5zeHjtxQQ2_4DYO1/s1600/Housework+2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJVXqXNDMo-f_hCIJCCj0n2rYlGZK11XL4XdnwfgD4zNWmhORr5JGTtaDduxhTHXgsVArnU_gsrZQxuwESWpyiTKXFvJYWIaodEgRj5af9E17XhxTf9wdNUbZKu1rr5zeHjtxQQ2_4DYO1/s1600/Housework+2.png" height="193" width="320" /></a></div>
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These two areas. Cooking and laundry. </div>
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First cooking. So many parts where we fall short on this. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXlHFEFAH7Qpw2d7hM6GpMZBH8p45xD2I7FrWp6JKudOAC2oGtpIpP6FojZw3Ci44PSjhUWijK7p1jCgUfE2eD8ci7xh2vAyfpXf3U8cZjxb37PklrUy0IHyG7CuEwkxTjtRpGf3IIDuyX/s1600/shopping-swscan04424-copy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXlHFEFAH7Qpw2d7hM6GpMZBH8p45xD2I7FrWp6JKudOAC2oGtpIpP6FojZw3Ci44PSjhUWijK7p1jCgUfE2eD8ci7xh2vAyfpXf3U8cZjxb37PklrUy0IHyG7CuEwkxTjtRpGf3IIDuyX/s1600/shopping-swscan04424-copy.jpg" height="206" width="320" /></a></div>
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Meal planning, shopping regularly, using what we have, cooking it, making enough for adequate leftovers, using the leftovers we do have, throwing stuff out after it goes bad. We are trying to do weekly meal planning. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjuXtq1-2FeZlUr18W5MQazS7ncFYDV1R5_668pDZlj0KcVVe5McQfPdQE9YIPE8P7vyl-mxAbyLwktpMwcjMQiBZYYVSR0t0jFoWVw8NsM9ssHmr_ZxpJQ3i0qz_zZStOVTUWBU91OBVU/s1600/housework+6.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjuXtq1-2FeZlUr18W5MQazS7ncFYDV1R5_668pDZlj0KcVVe5McQfPdQE9YIPE8P7vyl-mxAbyLwktpMwcjMQiBZYYVSR0t0jFoWVw8NsM9ssHmr_ZxpJQ3i0qz_zZStOVTUWBU91OBVU/s1600/housework+6.jpeg" /></a></div>
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I want to do Once a Month Shopping and Cooking. Or even Twice a Month Shopping and Cooking. The Dude is hesitant because he doesn't like to spend so much money all at once, he is concerned that we will get overwhelmed and not do it and will waste food, and he is concerned about storage, since we don't have a super big house. We do have a freezer, but even having adequate storage bags and finding the right lids for our plastic containers is a commitment. He is right to be concerned about all of this of course. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpwxkKU8DjzvtXgzrP91R9JO8APbXKTjPU0dIvSYui990gB7s42BTdy8G0Rxv_tXIm8M_dWgu4x9dfJppLa0MWGUQpYtNMaVJJmi5SisbcbXJCQG7C7V2AgIdqYUS5Flgx4PfQjTIOgggi/s1600/1950s_housewife.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpwxkKU8DjzvtXgzrP91R9JO8APbXKTjPU0dIvSYui990gB7s42BTdy8G0Rxv_tXIm8M_dWgu4x9dfJppLa0MWGUQpYtNMaVJJmi5SisbcbXJCQG7C7V2AgIdqYUS5Flgx4PfQjTIOgggi/s1600/1950s_housewife.jpg" height="241" width="320" /></a></div>
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My main reason for wanting to do it is that I have the attention span of a fruit fly. Remembering to take meat out to thaw, knowing what to cook before 7 pm-these are challenging for me. On my nights to cook, you can often find spaghetti with sauce from a jar (throwing in some veggies for good luck!) or rotisserie chicken for Safeway. If I knew that a day or two was dedicated to cooking, it would be so much easier. </div>
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Right now our compromise is to make a weekly meal plan and shop for it. We will see how it goes. We often forget to make anything that is on our meal plan.</div>
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The second big looming issue?</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk_CYJUTu3YgZn8wl8-WGuvqos9vm3YBQl9e3O95jwkBcU3uZliZNWnxKXdujEBg0DncPpV2xiQBfxLyR5rb_lVda9HSwFsan72WDbHybjQ2HUpIcmA4Kuz6qimcxY7fwxDdG2XLlXxZI2/s1600/Housework+7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk_CYJUTu3YgZn8wl8-WGuvqos9vm3YBQl9e3O95jwkBcU3uZliZNWnxKXdujEBg0DncPpV2xiQBfxLyR5rb_lVda9HSwFsan72WDbHybjQ2HUpIcmA4Kuz6qimcxY7fwxDdG2XLlXxZI2/s1600/Housework+7.jpg" height="284" width="320" /></a></div>
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Laundry, laundry, laundry!! The Dude does it often, and Magnus will run loads through as well. I remember sometimes. However, even when we do remember to do it, we are very bad about folding it, so it sits in the laundry baskets until very very wrinkled. And when we do manage to fold, the clothes are supposed to be put away, right? Yeah, that is a problem. So there is usually at least one basket sitting in the living room, either folded or not folded. I want to stop the madness. I have tried the <a href="http://www.flylady.net/c/fp.php?tzm=420">FLYLady</a> method of one load per day, but honestly in our house, there is always more than one load per day, it is hard to get people to put laundry away daily, and some days I just don't think about doing laundry. </div>
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So, we are going to try my mom's method. Every Wednesday and Saturday, I would wake to Mom sorting clothes into 8 piles on the kitchen floor. My mom was running a house that had two adults and 9 kids, so precision was her life saver. She had two laundry days per week-clothes were washed, dried, folded, and placed on people's beds. I will not be doing the last part so much, and in fact will insist on a lot more input throughout the process, but it is the method I am going to try. I have placed on my Google Calendar a recurring event-Laundry Day. Monday and Thursday. And I am going to add sheet washing every two weeks. You just don't even want to know how long we normally go between sheet washing.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggw2D-JKeqaKnNH1K1dSHTA9UNt23fDlxIHxuWrN_eHa5BDnA6V_IggSlHYX4Nq5JcmixLBOW1irCyYIgtrX_jXySodf7DwrPAJQxqrKDG9jpYifpz6snOyefOGL2kEDBiuhInuUY_S6hM/s1600/hanging+sheets.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggw2D-JKeqaKnNH1K1dSHTA9UNt23fDlxIHxuWrN_eHa5BDnA6V_IggSlHYX4Nq5JcmixLBOW1irCyYIgtrX_jXySodf7DwrPAJQxqrKDG9jpYifpz6snOyefOGL2kEDBiuhInuUY_S6hM/s1600/hanging+sheets.jpeg" /></a></div>
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So, that is the plan to tackle these dreaded tasks. Weekly meal planning, with an eye toward bulk cooking, and two days set aside for laundry, and marked on the calendar so I don't forget. And just to be clear, although I am using 1950s pictures throughout this post, the boys and husband are very much involved with this process. I will not be doing this alone. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihCevNxYc_z2Lm97RFUbpgRuvsFAY6HmdEgvSqPiNappKtoAslzs7ceME7aQA108ebsJXn3LUiII2Sw6B_MKEKn4q2iyTxEqZTyYx7uuWBkqwh1bAKLBrodxcZyAt6J9ovxhDkEGMs9JZk/s1600/Housework+4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihCevNxYc_z2Lm97RFUbpgRuvsFAY6HmdEgvSqPiNappKtoAslzs7ceME7aQA108ebsJXn3LUiII2Sw6B_MKEKn4q2iyTxEqZTyYx7uuWBkqwh1bAKLBrodxcZyAt6J9ovxhDkEGMs9JZk/s1600/Housework+4.jpg" height="192" width="320" /></a></div>
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I am sure that for a lot of you, this is all quite simple, but I have to work at these most basic tasks. Hopefully this is a step towards taming the beasts.</div>
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Please talk to me in the comments. How much time do you spend a day on housecleaning? Meal prep? Laundry? What methods have you found helpful? </div>
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signed-Not Very Good at Making a House a Home, and Not only Would Martha Stewart Give Me Side Eye, but I Think Even <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094540/">Roseanne</a> Might be Better at it Than I Am.</div>
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<br />captiv8edhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11082449835686605409noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3624763122424469439.post-4439093953227234982014-04-24T15:02:00.001-07:002014-04-24T15:02:26.191-07:00Giving the cat a name<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4jsUIgchHXU">This</a> is one of my favorite scenes from one of my favorite movies. As someone who has children who are nearly grown, but still hasn't settled down, I understand Ms. Golightly sentiment. Unfortunately, life doesn't wait until we find a real-life place that makes us feel like Tiffany's. So, sometimes we have to buy furniture and give the cat a name even if we aren't feeling it. I am at that point now. I know my lodgings are temporary, maybe 2 1/2 more years, maybe longer. It is a rental, so no matter what, we will move from here. What's more, the reality of academia is that people move. But we need a place that is comfortable for all of us now. I want a house that is tidy and fits my style. So right now, I am on a quest to settle in.<br />
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You know how some people show up at a new house and instantly turn it into a home? Not us. Some believe that there are gifts that come from frequent moving: a streamlined stock and a penchant for knowing what goes where. Well, the Dude and I have lived in 15 places in our 22 years together, so that hypothesis breaks down with our moving boxes. We move into a place, stress out, figure out where everything goes, then start hating it. Move things around, discard some stuff, buy some new stuff, like it for a month, then start hating it again. It often takes us a few years to really get it figured out. Unfortunately, the longest we have lived in a place is a few years.<br />
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Since we moved into our new place, we have been very busy, and kind of broke. It took the Dude a while to snag good employment. Now he has a decent job, and my life is slowing down a bit. And so now, it is time to try to settle in to our house and make it a home.<br />
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Over the past month, we have (finally!) unpacked and organized the garage and the shed. Now we are turning our attention indoors. The biggest piece for me is turning our living room into something comfortable. We have a sofa, four desks, many book shelves, a coffee table, and a rack for printers and scanners. In this room, we compute, read, watch movies, study, and play games. The room is also the entry to the home, and there is no closet. Luckily the entry area is slightly off to the side of the room, so there is distance. But still, this room is a disaster!!<br />
Here are some photos. The boys' desk areas:<br />
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The entry way:</div>
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The hall:</div>
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More desk areas:</div>
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The room also houses the couch and my desk area. These are the before pictures. Stay tuned for the after pictures in the coming weeks! </div>
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<br />captiv8edhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11082449835686605409noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3624763122424469439.post-54868133113049395542014-04-15T14:53:00.000-07:002016-02-16T11:12:58.645-08:00Anti-science or anti-corporation??Vaccination compliance has been in the news recently. According to journalists, whooping cough is showing up in places, kids are getting measles, stuff we thought were ancient illnesses and popping up again. Now there is concern about super-illnesses.<br />
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Vaccination discussions are an uncomfortable place for me. My facebook wall has been lit up on both sides of the aisle. I have been a natural living, homeschooling parent in the past, and thus have generated many friends who are uncomfortable with vaccines. I also have a lot of highly educated friends who are not yet parents (and some who are parents) and are appalled at the idea of not vaccinating. Branching out further, I see the <a href="http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2014/03/03/effective_messages_in_vaccine_promotion_when_it_comes_to_anti_vaxxers_there.html">debate</a> <a href="http://www.slate.com/blogs/bad_astronomy/2014/04/13/jenny_mccarthy_responds_to_claims_she_s_not_antivax.html">raging</a> in the <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/01/24/anti-vaccine-movement-map_n_4654150.html">comments </a>sections of <a href="http://www.motherjones.com/environment/2014/02/vaccine-exemptions-states-pertussis-map">popular</a> news <a href="http://jezebel.com/woman-who-was-never-vaccinated-ive-had-measles-mumps-1493946207">sites</a>.<br />
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I am not jumping into the debate (I will say that my kids are vaccinated, although they are a little behind schedule-they are also super healthy, as in rarely anything worse than a common cold). Instead, I would like to delve into the sociological perspective of non-vaxxers. I keep reading that these parents are ignorant, anti-science, and "lunatics." Many of my anti-vaxxing friends really embrace science.<br />
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It is easy to vilify people when they are an abstraction. But many of these anti-vaxxers or selective vaxxers or delayed vaxxers are my friends. I have had thoughtful and rational discussions with them. I may not agree with all of their choices, but they are loving parents who did research before making this decision. Many are well-educated. So, why might they question vaccines?<br />
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Most of the people I know who don't vaccinate their kids are gen Xers. Those who aren't are people right on the cusp, either young Boomers or old Millenials. I am not saying that all of the anti-vaxxers, or even the majority of them, are Xers. Nor am I saying that the majority (or anywhere near the majority) of Xers don't vaccinate their kids. I was simply noticing that most people I personally know who choose this path are in this age bracket. And it made me ponder if there are cultural forces that might be at work.<br />
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Gen X is my generation, so I can speak to where the skepticism comes from. I am not speak for Millenials who choose this path, and what I am saying will not ring true for every Xer that has wrestled with this decision. I just want to illuminate the reader on what the Gen X childhood was like, to shed some light on possible reasons for skepticism. Every generation has events that shape them. I want to write about some of ours.<br />
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Gen Xers are people born between the early 1960s and the early (very early) 1980s (some say it is the late 1970s). Our childhoods were shaped by Watergate, the Manson Family, John Wayne Gacy, the Cold War, and polyester.<br />
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When I was at the cusp of my childhood, the Halloween/poison apple and Tylenol poisoning scares were in the news. Everyone had to get their Halloween candy X-rayed, and drug store medicine had the potential to kill you. Many kids had divorced parents, and the kids were taking care of themselves after school.<br />
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So, let's analyze these facts. Before we were old enough to even understand it, we learned that our government could lie to us in a big way, and we couldn't trust them. The next guy in line just pardoned them and went on with his day. Not nearly the satisfying recourse one might want. The Manson Family wasn't anything we necessarily understood, but we knew that it was something scary and awful. Students who were protesting the war were <a href="http://dept.kent.edu/sociology/lewis/lewihen.htm">gunned down by the National Guard</a>.<br />
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Tack the Jonestown Massacre onto the end of the decade, and you see that we were coming of age in a time when it became apparent that trusting leaders can be very very scary. John Wayne Gacy taught us that our suspicions were correct, clowns ARE scary.<br />
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I think The Cold War is important in this discussion. It loomed with this-"We are all going to die soon, and no one will do anything about it (except Dr. Seuss). And, oh by the way, science can be used for death and destruction and isn't always a positive." And this feeling was coupled with the knowledge that our leaders could betray us.<br />
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Well, we might as well shed our bad fashions and go blow off steam by trick-or-treating, right? NO!! Sorry kids, you know that nice old lady who lives down the street? Well, on Halloween night, she turns into a murderous villain who only wants to kill children, and never even needs to see the spoils of her crime.<br />
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The institution of marriage went through a lot of changes in our childhood, with divorce becoming acceptable, and many middle class kids falling into a new single-mother-headed family, which often went hand-in-hand with economic instability.<br />
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It is in this stew of uncertainty, change, and skepticism that we were raised. The kids before us had grown ups taking care of things (and <a href="http://www.princeton.edu/~achaney/tmve/wiki100k/docs/Hippie.html">yet a small but vocal portion </a>of that population still found their way to rebellion, skepticism, and <a href="http://www.buzzfeed.com/sandraeallen/29-signs-you-were-raised-by-hippies">suspicion of science)</a>. The kids after us had parents to insulate the fears and they grew up in a much more positive framework, <a href="http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2010/02/24/millennials-confident-connected-open-to-change/">with more respect for authority</a> than the previous two generations. I think we lived in this sliver of uncertainty and unclear boundaries. </div>
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Many were left with the feeling that questioning these things all fall into the same realm: <a href="http://www.tufts.edu/med/apua/about_issue/about_antibioticres.shtml">antibiotic use</a>, <a href="http://www.care2.com/greenliving/why-buy-organic-dairy-meat.html">fertilizers and pesticides</a>, <a href="http://leas.ca/Toxins-in-household-products.htm">chemicals in household products</a>, <a href="http://www.skincancer.org/prevention/uva-and-uvb/ozone-and-uv-where-are-we-now">too much sun, </a>f<a href="http://babyclothes.about.com/od/sleepwear/a/Are-Flame-Resistant-Baby-Pajamas-Safe-For-Babies.htm">lame retardant pajamas</a>, <a href="http://www.epa.gov/ozone/science/sc_fact.html">CFC</a>s, <a href="http://www.webmd.com/sexual-conditions/guide/circumcision">circumcision</a>, <a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/watergate/">governments,</a> <a href="http://www.forbes.com/2009/01/22/corruption-lobbying-bribes-biz-corruption09-cx_mm_0122maiello.html">lobbyists</a>, <a href="http://nymag.com/news/businessfinance/54703/">corporate CEOs</a>, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qZDVqhWGILA">Pintos</a>, <a href="http://www.birthingnaturally.net/">medicated childbirth</a>, <a href="http://www.livestrong.com/article/111348-chemicals-disposable-diapers/">disposable diapers</a>, <a href="http://www.forbes.com/2008/12/31/housing-bubble-crash-oped-cx_bb_0102bartlett.html">deb</a>t, <a href="https://faculty.washington.edu/krumme/telcom/commuting.html">commuting</a>, <a href="http://emf.mercola.com/">EMF</a>s, <a href="http://www2.epa.gov/lead">lead paint</a>,<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ted_Bundy"> handsome strangers</a>, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XmH4_pr6mH0">unsafe sex</a>, <a href="https://www.cpsc.gov/en/Safety-Education/Safety-Guides/Home/Asbestos-In-The-Home/">asbestos</a>, <a href="http://www.epa.gov/radon/healthrisks.html">radon</a>, <a href="http://www.nrdc.org/water/drinking/qarsenic.asp">tap water</a>, <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/1990/03/24/us/mountain-of-nuclear-waste-splits-st-louis-and-suburbs-888.html">nuclear waste</a>, <a href="http://www2.epa.gov/aboutepa/love-canal-tragedy">industrial waste</a>, <a href="http://www.princeton.edu/~achaney/tmve/wiki100k/docs/Hippie.html">homemade drugs</a>, <a href="http://mentalfloss.com/article/31176/how-one-dad-got-lawn-darts-banned">lawn darts</a>,<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FLHftISLNHE"> and all manner of toys</a>. None of these concerns are unique to Gen X, but they were the hallmarks of our childhoods, young adulthoods, and transition to parenting for many of us. Many of these examples were policies that received a stamp of approval by the government and scientists. Many of these policies also had strong corporate interests and profits tied to them.</div>
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To recap: I am not siding with those who choose not to vaccinate, nor am I advocating one side of the debate or the other. I am simply trying to shed light on what factors combined to create a generation will to question. I believe it is more about questioning corporations than science, and it comes from a childhood filled with questioning, rebelling against authority and the status quo, and disappointment in leadership. </div>
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<br />captiv8edhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11082449835686605409noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3624763122424469439.post-50582259423676794882014-04-12T17:08:00.001-07:002014-04-12T18:33:00.210-07:00ChangeThe Dude has been mentioning my lack of awareness to visual details. For instance, there is a new house in the neighborhood, and I said, "Huh, that house looks new." He was flabbergasted, because they had been building it and working on it since we moved in, and I didn't notice. I have been thinking about why this happens to me. One part is definitely having other things on my mind. We moved in and I took exams that week, then had to unpack, plan a new class, teach the class, write my dissertation proposal, take a class, and set the boys up to homeschool.<br />
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However, I think there is something else, and that is what I want to talk about today.<br />
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Change. We moved to a new place, and now I have to learn new things. As a graduate student, I am constantly learning new things anyway. Now I am done with my courses, but I am learning how to teach. How to organize a classroom. I had to create a rubric mid semester, because I realized that it is the best way for me to grade subjectively. But learning to use a rubric and set up grades on a rubric has been a bit of an exercise in frustration.<br />
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I am living in a new town. I now have to create new driving patterns, learn new grocery store layouts, learn to talk to different people about different things. There are new schools to navigate, doctors to meet, and hair dressers to find. The house itself is different. The walk from the bedroom to the kitchen is new, light switches are at different places, sun comes in at different angles. The wall color is different, having a fireplace is new, and I have new places to put my clothes (my very own walk in closet with shelves and a separate shared closet with a hanging bar. :) ).<br />
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I have moved often, so I know the drill. We lived in our last place (in a new town) for 3 years. Before that, we were in one area (more or less) for 7 years, but during that time we lived in 4 houses in and 3 towns! But adding graduate school work onto kid schedules and new navigations has been a bit much, I guess. So now I only register what is needed, and the other stuff is sitting and waiting to be discovered when I open my eyes to it. This includes houses, trees, stores, anything but what is absolutely necessary.<br />
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My larger point is this: humans as a species deal with more change than, I would argue, ever before in history. Before the Industrial Revolution, for the most part, a person could anticipate a steady life. They would live in a small radius, marry from families they knew, know their job options, keep the same job, have the same friends, travel almost nowhere, and use the same equipment their entire lives. Nomadic tribes obviously traveled, but roles and jobs were still durable, and the types of housing set ups stayed the same.<br />
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Compare that to now. Suburban homes that were built in the 1950s have been torn down to allow new development.<br />
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Entire new subdivisions and even towns can pop up like nothing. Don't like your shopping choices? Wait a couple of years, and there will be some new options to choose from.<br />
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Let's go inside the home. Look around your kitchen. How many appliances did not exist 50 years ago? 20? You got your Foreman grill, your juicer, your VitaMix and your Magic Bullet. Television has morphed from one large box that sits in the front room hosting 3 channels to something watched on demand through a telephone. Not only that, we can now make our own content and send it around the world instantly.<br />
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This type of presentation alone was unthinkable 50 years ago, never mind the product he is shilling!<br />
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The way we interact, the types and quantity of entertainment, and the information available to us today is unbelievable. We now have to remember to look at several different sites to get out news, and we have to know password upon password-Don't use the same one! Change them often!</div>
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We now do not have longterm certainty about where we will live, what job we will do, who will we marry, what types of things we will buy or where we will shop for them. </div>
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So, what I am wondering is how much of the problems we see in our society: depression, anxiety, loneliness, Alzheimer's, substance abuse-how many of these problems are brought not by the current state of our world, but by the rate of change humans must endure?<br />
<br />captiv8edhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11082449835686605409noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3624763122424469439.post-4680637355977119412013-11-19T21:01:00.000-08:002013-11-20T00:48:04.407-08:00UpdateSo, it has been over a year since I last posted. Where have I been and why has this blog been neglected? Well, in that time:<br />
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I finished and defended my thesis (jan and feb)<br />
I created a reading list on 2 substantive areas for my comprehensive exams (March-May)<br />
I applied for and received a transfer to our branch campus (Jan and Feb)<br />
I figured out schooling options for boys, and after rejecting many choices, decided to homeschool (March-June)<br />
I participated in 2 graduate courses (Jan-May)<br />
I created and pilot tested a survey for my dissertation (April)<br />
I wrote my first draft of my dissertation proposal for those 2 classes (April)<br />
I decluttered, packed, unpacked, decluttered more, repacked, etc (May-Aug)<br />
I graduated with a master's degree (May)<br />
I studied just about every day of the summer, reading reading reading, and writing writing writing. Got feedback from committee, read and write more (May-Aug)<br />
I dealt with my dog's severe dental issues (Terrible of me, but I don't remember what month)<br />
I traveled to my new city to find housing (Aug)<br />
I did all the last minute doctor's appts that precede moving (July)<br />
I hosted a game night a few times (fun!) (May-Aug)<br />
I did some help with the packing and cleaning (July)<br />
I drove across the state with my son, who quizzed me on my exam topics pretty much the whole way (July)<br />
I moved into my new house (July)<br />
I did a tiny bit of unpacking, but mostly left it for the fam since I was taking my first exam on Friday, and we moved in on Sunday (July)<br />
I took my two exams- 5 hours each (Aug)<br />
I collapsed for a few days, then helped with unpacking and organizing (Aug)<br />
I prepped for a brand new course. My first solo-instruction, on an area I love but am not an expert in, for a course that hasn't been taught in some time (Aug)<br />
I prepped for the boys' schooling (Aug-ongoing really. constantly tweaking)<br />
I helped the oldest child get started with Running Start, which means he is taking some college classes as a high school junior<br />
I have taught my course once a week, for a three-hour block per week (Aug-now)<br />
I have taken one last grad-level course (Aug-now)<br />
I have overseen and participated in the boys' school stuff (Aug-now)<br />
I found out I passed my exams! (Aug) YAY!!<br />
And then immediately began working on my dissertation proposal (Aug-Nov)<br />
I helped the Dude with job search as much as possible (Aug-now, sadly this is ongoing)<br />
I wrote interview questions (Oct)<br />
I did more organizing of the house (Aug-Oct)<br />
I fought with the Dude (Aug-Sept mostly. We rarely fight, but this move was remarkably stressful)<br />
I tried to squeeze some life and outdoorness out of the great PNW (Aug-Oct)<br />
I reviewed about 1 journal article evry two weeks (Jan-now)<br />
I successfully defended my proposal!! After three rounds of revisions (Revisions-Aug-Nov-defense-Nov)<br />
I graded a whole bunch of stuff<br />
I learned (am learning) my way around my new place<br />
I went on some actual dates with my husband!<br />
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And then there are all of the little things! Ha! Yes, so that is some of the stuff I have done instead of blogging. Of course, much of this was done with help from the fam, but still! I think this will be the busiest year until job market-dissertation completion year- (2015-2016). I am throwing my hat back into the blogging ring. I feel like things are calming down a bit, and I look forward to a more balanced 2014.<br />
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Thank you for reading this boring post. I will leave you with this <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZs3EADi2pQ">random kitten video </a>that has nothing to do with me but is so cute I couldn't resist sharing.captiv8edhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11082449835686605409noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3624763122424469439.post-53023333478609140992013-02-03T13:21:00.000-08:002013-02-03T20:00:56.468-08:00Inside the bubble of sicknessWe have been slammed. Stomach flu and head colds. Everyone has been home. I have gone into campus a couple times. But overall, we have all been home.<br />
<br />
My goals, it wasn't good.<br />
<br style="background-color: #fb5e53; color: #666666; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Goals for this week: </span><br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Finish articles for class one day before class<i>-I think I almost did this. I had one article left to read the day of class. I wasn't able to go to one class because I was sick. </i></span><br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Go to the gym or walk to and from campus at least 5 times.<i> Ha. I made it to the gym twice. The rest of the time, it was good if I made it out of bed.</i></span><br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Finish the first part of my survey <b>I did this!</b> </span><br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Prep for discussion section the day before class<i> I don't remember. I think I did though. I might have had some finishing touches the day of, but for the most part, yes.</i></span><br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Grade papers before the weekend- I tried. I graded for quite a bit of Friday. <i>But these papers were very bad and needed lots of commentary, and so took a big chunk of Saturday as well</i></span><br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Organize my exam reading lists-<i>Moving this one forward to this week</i></span><br style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Watch a movie-<i>yes. and then some :)</i></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><i><br />
</i></span></span><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><i>So, besides a crippling sinus headache today, I think I am healthy now. So next week I will try again!<br />
<br />
This week my goals are the same, except I am not working on my surveycaptiv8edhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11082449835686605409noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3624763122424469439.post-21383579113843427942013-01-29T10:24:00.001-08:002013-01-29T10:24:31.521-08:00Life gets in the waySo I make my big goals for the week on Sunday and then get sick on Monday and have spent the past day and a half lying about in bed, feeling miserable.<br />
Yesterday I managed something like 5 1/2 hours of very distracting time online.captiv8edhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11082449835686605409noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3624763122424469439.post-13368561500702595382013-01-27T22:28:00.001-08:002013-01-27T22:28:19.080-08:00January is almost overTaking my computer to work was helpful. I brought it home for the weekend. But overall my productivity was pretty good this week. This weekend is a different story and if they awarded prizes for procrastination, I would be in the running for sure! Getting up early to get on the grownup job track has been difficult, because I would like to continue on the night owl track as well. I can't do both and the more tired I am, the more I am prone to procrastination.<br />
<br />
We had our family fiscal meeting today. Overall we are doing pretty good. I need to be more vigilant about bringing food to work and we need to drive less. Our grocery bill was $200 over budget, and we might still have one more trip before the end of the month.<br />
<br />
We bought a video camera today. The boys have desperately wanted one, and Luigi consistently is incorporating videos into school problems. They were able to borrow one from school last project, but that was only because Rin was the official video dude for a class assignment. The price of good cameras is disheartening, but Rin did the footwork and found the camera they borrowed from school (and liked) on Amazon, refurbished, for $100.<br />
<br />
I am trying to spend 4 solid days at school. This week I might try to flip things on their head and leave my computer at home. Thursday the lure of the internet was strong and I finally had to leave my office (and my computer) and go to other rooms in the building for solid reading time. We have a computer lab I can use if I need to write, and on that computer, I am very focused. Also, even though my laptop is only a couple pounds, add in the cord and it gets a wee bit heavy.<br />
<br />
I am going to start keeping a running goal list at the bottom of the post. See how it goes.<br />
<br />
Goals for this week:<br />
Finish articles for class one day before class<br />
Go to the gym or walk to and from campus at least 5 times<br />
Finish the first part of my survey<br />
Prep for discussion section the day before class<br />
Grade papers before the weekend<br />
Organize my exam reading lists<br />
Watch a movie<br />
<br />
I want to be more of this:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxhTRndrMVQaxb98y_5PRt1Hljlc9PNP9cn3uOwJ5jSlZfunYPAOai4e8fKedrcNeZhsQcIPpEpvHnPKc8iiu2VDNGqbJswgsP4UZLolbG-l4efzHQXCsc0uqyzqnM7XZxYj0z49-JtEi2/s1600/be-focused.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="140" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxhTRndrMVQaxb98y_5PRt1Hljlc9PNP9cn3uOwJ5jSlZfunYPAOai4e8fKedrcNeZhsQcIPpEpvHnPKc8iiu2VDNGqbJswgsP4UZLolbG-l4efzHQXCsc0uqyzqnM7XZxYj0z49-JtEi2/s200/be-focused.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
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<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>And less of this:</b><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZfGBORJxwVuT0OCb8GpyUyrVvMZYzNvp8qVyO6g2trWmkeybjUbyGpaqYoNrIbgr0YgbV2URGwqLDRsc6G_DFHnsUi6LXsj461o-6TIEZQBYwO-LfjQKDCl9uHDrHozsSV0sb18MY6cbb/s1600/PROCRASTINATION+CHART.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZfGBORJxwVuT0OCb8GpyUyrVvMZYzNvp8qVyO6g2trWmkeybjUbyGpaqYoNrIbgr0YgbV2URGwqLDRsc6G_DFHnsUi6LXsj461o-6TIEZQBYwO-LfjQKDCl9uHDrHozsSV0sb18MY6cbb/s320/PROCRASTINATION+CHART.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />captiv8edhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11082449835686605409noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3624763122424469439.post-81763007817179213002013-01-21T02:04:00.000-08:002013-01-21T02:29:12.153-08:00The rabbit hole attention spanOne of the best ways I can save us tons of money is to finish my program as quickly as possible and get a real grown up job. When I do I can stop the borrowing and start the earning and paying off. This is at least 2 1/2 years off, if I finish in 5 years total. However, finishing in one's sixth year or later is pretty common. I would like to try to guard against the extra year, due to the above mentioned financial issues.<br />
<br />
In the next 7 months, I need to:<br />
<br />
Learn 2 bodies of literacy to mastery and take 2 examinations to prove my knowledge<br />
Finish coursework in two classes<br />
Defend my thesis<br />
Write a dissertation proposal<br />
Design and test a survey<br />
Work on articles from my thesis and thesis data<br />
Pack<br />
Help keep out finances in order<br />
Prepare and present my work at a conference in March<br />
Find a place to live<br />
Do my research assistant/teaching assistant gig<br />
Help boys with homework and general living issues<br />
Student edit a journal article every couple weeks<br />
Prepare food<br />
Exercise<br />
Sleep<br />
Possibly participate in a second research assistantship<br />
Clean some bits of the house<br />
Attend to dogs<br />
<br />
Kind of a lot. What stands between me and my success?<br />
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<br />
<br />
Tonight the Dude was playing Scrabble with the boys and I was going to hang out on the couch and read for class. Instead I got sucked into the never ending vortex of the Internet. Ironically enough, I wasted the evening reading productivity blogs. And doing some Facebook chatter. But mostly productivity sites. Random internet use is the number 1 time suck in my life. It is one of the main reasons I refuse to get a smartphone. I am online nearly constantly when I am home. I don't need to carry this pattern out into the world. I also want to contain it in the house.<br />
<br />
Biggest problem, hands down. I am a news junkie. I can read news and blogs all day. And each one sends me off to a new link, or I read the comments for that nugget of wisdom. I don't usually comment on them, and I hardly ever game. But news and blogs and other social media takes hours away from my life.<br />
<br />
I will be good and on the right track for a day or two. I use<a href="https://www.rescuetime.com/"> RescueTime</a> to track my usage. I use <a href="https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/facebook-nanny/gkpjofmdbabecniidggbbicfbcmfafmk">Facebook Nanny</a> and <a href="https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/stayfocusd/laankejkbhbdhmipfmgcngdelahlfoji?hl=en">Stay Focused</a> to keep me off of certain websites. When I use these tools properly, they help a lot. But all the tools in the world will be useless if they sit in the shed. I am trying to become better. I have set goals on Rescue Time: at least 4 hours of very productive time and no more than 2 hours of very distracting time every day. I am making myself log in to Rescue Time often during the day. And for the most part, this is helping a lot. Until I run into a day like today, when I simply do not want to work anymore.<br />
<br />
I read this great <a href="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/books/9522845/Shutting-out-a-world-of-digital-distraction.html">article</a> the other day. I really do feel like my brain has changed and my ability to focus on something, especially if it is boring or difficult, has shrunk in recent years. I think that there are a few things that make the internet a perfect storm for me. I am a news junkie . I can never get enough news and analysis. And there is always more on the Internet. I am a lazy extrovert. I like interacting with people, but I often have trouble taking that step that involves leaving the house. In this way, the internet is perfect. To bastardize Genie: <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SfTfXLLJlzM">Unlimited information, vast living space</a>. And of course, give my obsessive need to overthink and over research, I am spending vast amounts of time trying to find the perfect time management product, and distraction information.<br />
<br />
However, the main problem, and the one I am grappling with most, is the set up of academia. It never turns off. There is no place in the day where the job ends and the leisure time begins. I never clock out. Because of this, I never feel done because I never am done. Let's say I have all the work for my RAship and TAship done, and I am all caught up on my reading for class for the week. Well, now I should be prepping for exams, or working on my survey, or reading for my proposal. See? Never done. I have been in higher education with children in tow for 7 1/2 years now, and I am starting to feel a bit burnt out. Also, there is very little accountability, so I can slack off quite a bit if I want to. And it's not like it matters when I take the time off, because I don't have any kind of set schedule. This lack of accountability coupled with the notion that I am never going to be finished with work, has had some pretty bad results on my productivity lately. I am looking for that magic bullet to fix this, but I don't think it exists. Good old fashioned will power is what I need. But where can I find it?<br />
<br />
I could try monetizing it. Making myself pay a dollar every time I wandered into the depths of the Internet. Because time is money and the more time I waste, the longer I will be a poor grad student. But everyone needs some breaks. And the internet surfing can happen so fast, it is hard to even notice I am falling down a rabbit hole sometimes.<br />
<br />
I think though, in another baby step, I am going to leave my computer at my work office. I am pretty productive when I work from there. I am far less likely to mindlessly surf. I have my iPad at home, so I can still read some news and take notes. But I do a lot less on the iPad and it will serve as a good reminder. I am thinking of it as an early Lenten sacrifice. Although I am not a churchgoer, I am a fan of Lent. I will let you all know how it goes.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />captiv8edhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11082449835686605409noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3624763122424469439.post-3260329976072449842013-01-13T15:33:00.000-08:002013-01-13T15:36:51.818-08:00Things to do while boredIn my<a href="http://livingwellwhilebroke.blogspot.com/2013/01/socks-and-computer-stuff-two-great.html"> last post</a>, I mentioned our new list of activities. This is now posted on the refrigerator and may give the boys some ideas when they are feeling bored.<br />
<br />
We have also created a shared dropbox folder where all family meeting notes and documents go, so they can pull this up there as well, if they like :)<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.14in;">
Things to do</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.14in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Choose a chore</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.14in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Read</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.14in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Go downtown</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.14in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Practice instrument</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.14in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Draw</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.14in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Paint</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.14in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Sculpt</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.14in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Board game </span>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.14in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Card game</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.14in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Play with dogs</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.14in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Write</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.14in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Draw comics</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.14in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Create a game</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.14in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Learn/teach how to draw</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.14in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Woodworking</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.14in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Model building</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.14in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Bike repair</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.14in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Bike riding</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.14in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Sledding</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.14in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Gardening</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.14in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Science experiments</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.14in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Cook</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.14in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Bake</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.14in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Listen to music</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.14in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Sew</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.14in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Knit</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.14in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Crochet</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.14in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Rockets</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.14in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Take a walk</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.14in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Walk the dogs</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.14in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Learn a skill</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.14in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Write and perform a
play</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.14in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Magic tricks</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.14in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Do SAT practice books</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.14in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Learn a new math skill</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.14in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Read a classic</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.14in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Exercise</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.14in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Parkour</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.14in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Soccer</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.14in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Frisbee</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.14in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Archery</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.14in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Fort</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.14in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Nerf gun battle</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.14in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Volunteer</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.14in;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Write a letter</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.14in;">
<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.14in;">
<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.14in;">
<br />
<br /></div>
captiv8edhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11082449835686605409noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3624763122424469439.post-43214439224471509022013-01-13T15:29:00.001-08:002013-01-13T15:29:37.476-08:00Socks and computer stuff (two great posts rolled into one!)As I mentioned last week, socks get eaten here. It is also cold, not getting above 30 degrees all week. I decided to go sock hunting. We are fans of thick socks, which cost more.<br />
A little online sleuthing netted me a deal! I perused the clearance bin and found 2 packs of heavy socks for $4.35 a pack, when we added in shipping. Happy me, I planned to get 20 packs, which would give each family member 8 pairs. I was pretty happy about this, and ran it past the Dude. He was a little weirded out at spending $85 on socks, but also saw the wisdom in bulk buying and the overall savings. We would spend all that and more if we bought them in the store.<br />
<br />
I forgot about placing the order for a couple of days and then went back to visit. The sale price was due to two separate promotion codes, and one had expired. Sadness. I put the order in the cart anyway, to see what the total was. Well, now that one coupon code was gone, my order now hit the $75 total needed to trigger 30% off my entire purchase!The socks now went down to $65 total with shipping, or $1.66 per pair! Happy dance. Of course the boys then tell me that they don't like the socks. But, there should be enough of the older socks around, now that 2 or 3 of us will be wearing the new socks. Did I mention that my entire family has the same shoe size range and socks are interchangeable here?<br />
<br />
In other news, report cards are coming out soon, and some boys who will remain unnamed are sweating it out to get decent grades. These are really smart boys, but seem to have trouble with focusing. They (we) are all spending way too much time connected to little electronic screens as well. At 1 this morning, while sitting up with a boy who was cramming in an assignment before Monday, I came up with a list of new house rules. I would be a lot less frustrated about this if this assignment wasn't assigned months ago. Or if during the many times over winter break I asked him about it, he would have gotten in touch with his teacher to find out exactly what he needed to do. Anyway, I a posting the list here in case anyone else is dealing with this and needs ideas. I will update to let you know how it is working.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.14in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial Black, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">HOUSE
RULES</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.14in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial Black, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">COMPUTER
TIME IS A PRIVILEGE, NOT A RIGHT</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.14in;">
<span style="font-size: medium;">C+ or below on a report
card-lose recreational electronic time for 1 semester</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.14in;">
<span style="font-size: medium;">C+ or below on Skyward Access*-lose recreational electronic time until grade improves</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.14in;">
<span style="font-size: medium;">First thing on the
computer-check Skyward Access and check library account</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.14in;">
<span style="font-size: medium;">Note missing
assignments, renew books, gather those that are due</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.14in;">
<span style="font-size: medium;">Missing
assignment-email or speak with teacher immediately to find out what
it is and how to make it up</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.14in;">
<span style="font-size: medium;">Finish homework, play
instrument, do chore, then you can have computer time</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.14in;">
<span style="font-size: medium;">2 hours on electronics
per weekday-maximum</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.14in;">
<span style="font-size: medium;">No electronics after 9
pm</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.14in;">
<span style="font-size: medium;">On weekends-2 hours
base time-want more time? Earn it with chore, playing outside(all boys), reading (Luigi), math practice(Magnus or Rin) or extra
instrument time</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: medium;">*Skyward Access is the computerized gradebook the schools use now, parents and students can log on and access grades, missing assignments, lunch accounts, attendance. It is not perfect, but it helps a lot. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: medium;">Each family member signed it and it is now posted on the refrigerator. Also on there is a chore list broken down into short, medium, and long; a calendar for boys to check off when they have completed a chore for the day, and a list of "what to do when I am bored."I will include that list in its own post. We had a long meeting this morning to discuss new expectations. We are setting up homework accounts on each computer. They must use that account while they are doing their homework, and it will have <a href="https://addons.mozilla.org/en-us/firefox/addon/leechblock/">leechblock</a> or <a href="https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/stayfocusd/laankejkbhbdhmipfmgcngdelahlfoji?hl=en">Stay focused</a>, depending on their browser. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: medium;">I am struggling to find this balance in my own life. We have not had a TV for years and years, because we found it too big a time waster. Once we got rid of it, there would be an adjustment period, and then it was okay. But the computer, you can't just get rid of it. The boys do school assignments on them, they have creative activities, be it blogging, deviant art, making Minecraft mods. Luigi is currently teaching himself Java. Rin has mad programming skills, and wants to work in that field when he is grown up. I need it to do my school work, and to maintain this lovely blog. We bill pay on it. </span><span style="font-size: medium;">But it is so hard to place limits around it.</span><span style="font-size: medium;"> </span><span style="font-size: medium;">Every quick check of email or facebook adds up. One article links to another, links to another. And then there are all those cats. And netflix! It becomes harder and harder to shut it down. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: medium;">And we don't even have smart phones. I see how ubiquitous those become in people's lives. I was standing and waiting for the bus the other day. It was cold and it was snowing. There were maybe 10 other people there, and we waited for 10-15 minutes. In that time, I saw two people pull out their phones to take pictures of themselves. One picture taker was with a friend and cold and bummed about standing there. A bus had come and they had hoped to get on it, but the bus was full and they had to wait longer. She was laughing and talking with her friend, but then she pulled out her phone and they both made sad faces for the picture she took. Even though she was laughing the whole time, right after she took the picture, she said, "I am really not having fun here." I found this interesting-her performance for facebook altered her perception of her current state of mind. I am surely reading too much into it and I know it wasn't that black and white for her, but I found it striking nonetheless. So, dear readers, I would love to hear about the parameters you have surrounding personal computers, tablets, and smartphones in your lives, for yourselves and your children. </span></div>
captiv8edhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11082449835686605409noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3624763122424469439.post-54197070334385319662013-01-07T17:06:00.000-08:002013-01-07T17:06:27.073-08:00Organization and saving moneyI am learning the hard way how expensive disorganization can be.<br />
Last year (sometime) we discovered that a camera cannot go through the washing machine and come out functional. It just doesn't happen. So, when a camera is left in a pocket and that pocket endures the heat, agitation, and wetness of a washer and dryer, the pocket's owner may need to buy a new camera. We found a good price on a camera that got good reviews. This was a painful purchase, since we had just bought the now really clean but non-functioning camera 3 or 4 months before that. Nevertheless, we bought the new one for around $200. It has been a great camera. A bit bulky, but it takes good pictures. Until it started to have a malfunction. The camera believes the lens cap is still on and so won't wake up properly. We called a camera shop and they told us we should find our warranty and receipt and get in touch with the manufacturer. Ah, but there is the problem. We cannot find the receipt. The dude saves receipts like nobody's business, but we are missing everything from March through October. Just gone. No envelopes for those months, no receipts anywhere. So, we decided to go through credit card and bank accounts to find it. They handily track purchases now. Apparently, we paid for this in cash (???)<br />
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In the meantime, we were missing the ability to take photos. We have prepaid dumb phones that do not snap high quality pics. Tablets are <a href="http://lookstupidtakingphotoswithanipad.tumblr.com/">awkward</a> cameras. Rin has been asking for a video camera. So we found a super cheap one and bought it for him with the stipulation that we could use it until we get our camera fixed. Sadly, this video camera takes terrible pictures. Rin doesn't like it at all. So, we decided to return it. Okay, and where is the receipt? Who knows! Finally, after a week of searching, we located it in the Dude's still unpacked overnight bag. So, at least one problem is solved. But we still haven't found the warranty info on the other camera. Also, I had purchased printer paper that had a rebate and promptly lost the receipt and paperwork. A couple of days ago, the Dude went to Ace to buy Rin a pair of <a href="https://www.yaktrax.com/">YakTrax</a> (seriously one of the best products ever if you live in icy country) and forgot the $5 off coupon that has been sitting in my desk basket for a month. We are going to take the receipt and coupon in and see if they will work a deal with us. I lost so much money to Rite Aid by forgetting to keep track of the rewards dollars. We bought the boys each a pair of ice cleats, similar to Yak Trax, but cheaper and smaller, since they only go around the front of the foot, not the whole foot. We didn't have a set place to put them, and two pairs are now missing. We bought Rin a pair of YakTrax because the other kind weren't fitting his feet well, but I was fine with an extra pair of these kicking around. Now we are missing 2 pairs. At $10 each, this makes me sad. Never mind the things that we have to buy again because we think we don't have any. And the socks. Oh the socks. Our household eats socks. It is very scary. <br />
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I have decided to try to fix some of this. I have pinned a very large envelope to our message center by the front door.<br />
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This is the coat rack that greets you at the front door.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguoAi6m4L3MFOZFfzQc2mlqTRFM52_Zv5u35BI27pn3T83A7NthJHpxw6PNorMfi1bSfayYbf1dFpO0hMagQi86_jH3nrKJi3kC3yDBNYMQUrBryL1aqzcOPJ62Nr-3uHQeMYBZwqH3rVw/s640/blogger-image--1036599369.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguoAi6m4L3MFOZFfzQc2mlqTRFM52_Zv5u35BI27pn3T83A7NthJHpxw6PNorMfi1bSfayYbf1dFpO0hMagQi86_jH3nrKJi3kC3yDBNYMQUrBryL1aqzcOPJ62Nr-3uHQeMYBZwqH3rVw/s320/blogger-image--1036599369.jpg" width="237" /></a></div>
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This now lives on the end of it. </div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoFP1H_gqfnd0M6Mb7-IPh6Sz6EQXv9s7Prs-uvzLCuC3I31T2FeUb29cmOYLUAPuauFfbatRAfz98YnChWgZEJQ_6fEuPbR7Da5U8KgS9LZELlYc8iQInKK6o5OBLkgGVvz5ByvTWJfF7/s640/blogger-image-1640224169.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoFP1H_gqfnd0M6Mb7-IPh6Sz6EQXv9s7Prs-uvzLCuC3I31T2FeUb29cmOYLUAPuauFfbatRAfz98YnChWgZEJQ_6fEuPbR7Da5U8KgS9LZELlYc8iQInKK6o5OBLkgGVvz5ByvTWJfF7/s320/blogger-image-1640224169.jpg" width="238" /></a> <br />
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I will force myself to place every receipt I come across into this envelope. The Dude can move them to his envelopes as need be. But when we have to search for one, they will be in one or two places, not in various bags and baskets throughout the house. I have designated a shoe box by the front door as the place for yak trax and ice cleats. I have hung the Ace Calendar on the message center so we can find and remember the coupons. I need to come up with a system for other coupons as well.<br />
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We have started tying allowance to chores. Not specific chores, but they need to be contributing to the household tidiness if they wish to receive allowance. This can be simple to elaborate. If someone has a lot of homework, they can pick up socks and put them in the hamper. If they don't have homework, they will need to do something like clean the kitchen or bathroom. Having them each do their part will help keep the house organized without so much work and will also help them get in the habit of cleaning as they go. I need to find a way to create a list of possible chores and check when they have completed theirs each day. Maybe an app.<br />
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Hopefully these will small changes will help get our lives in order and bring our bills down.<br />
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This is our lovely but non-working fireplace<br />
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And here is the little dogs' new bed. An old box and a pillow by the fire (which is also next to the heater). They are happy. </div>
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<br />captiv8edhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11082449835686605409noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3624763122424469439.post-49908726585309666262013-01-05T11:42:00.002-08:002013-01-05T14:31:17.470-08:00For these I am gratefulEver have one of those moments? You are in the shower and suddenly awash with gratitude? Well, maybe you are just awash with water and soap, but I find gratitude. We are poor as a family of church mice, but we are so fortunate. I was standing in the shower and thinking about<br />
<img height="320" src="http://magick365.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/shower11.jpg" width="226" /><br />
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The hot water that comes right from the tap. Turn the dial, bam! Hot water. What a miracle. We can shower every day, three times a day if we want to.<br />
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Here are some other things that fill me with gratitude. Of course, I am grateful for health and love and my awesome family. But this post is specifically about modern miracles and conveniences that we in the States often take for granted. They are not universal rights, and many of them did not exist 150 years ago.<br />
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Trash service<br />
<img src="http://www.pleasantongarbageservice.com/graphics/whitetruck.jpg" /><br />
Right out the front door, we put our garbage and recycling, and these guys just take it away. No living side by side with our garbage, no need to burn or bury toxic waste in our back yard. I realize there is a lot wrong with our current system of trash disposal, but still I am grateful for this service. And as more cities offer things like curbside recycling, the options get better.<br />
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Grocery stores<br />
<img src="http://onestopresort.com/images/grocery3.jpg" /><br />
Exotic and mundane foods live side by side, ready for purchasing. We do not need to hunt and gather unless we choose to. Years ago, families would have to carefully plan their trips to the trading post to stock up on staples. Now we have an overwhelming decision to make each time we want to buy mustard.<br />
<img height="300" src="http://dangerousintersection.org/wp-content/uploads/2008/02/mustard-aisle-lo-res.jpg" width="400" /><br />
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Clean drinking water<br />
<img height="240" src="http://www.fpst.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/water-pictures-summer-cool91-15-61-70023201.jpg" width="320" /><br />
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It seems like such a simple, automatic thing. Turn the knob, fill a glass, and drink. If I am feeling fancy, I will add ice. Or a lemon wedge. But there are millions of people in the world who<a href="http://www.unicefusa.org/work/water/"> lack access </a>to this most basic need. I am profoundly grateful for clean, regulated water.<br />
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What comes in must go out. Next on my list, indoor plumbing<br />
<img height="240" src="http://kwsmartteam.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/toilet.jpg" width="320" /><br />
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Although the concept has been around for a long time, indoor plumbing as a household necessity is new and definitely not worldwide. The convenience of staying in the warm house in the middle of the night is wonderful. Sharing 1 bathroom with 4 other people is a drag sometimes, but it is nothing compared to the one toilet shared by <a href="http://community.seattletimes.nwsource.com/archive/?date=19961006&slug=2352725">11 households </a>that lived in a lane in Limerick, Ireland. But of course, the true joy is in the sanitation system that magically carts the waste away. This saves us all from all sorts of <a href="http://www.unicef.org/wash/index_wes_related.html">terrible diseases</a>.<br />
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Electricity<br />
<img src="https://c479107.ssl.cf2.rackcdn.com/files/17787/width496/tcsj7997-1353301647.jpg" /><br />
Flip a switch, the light goes on. Magic. This magic allows for other magic.<br />
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Indoor cooking<br />
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<img height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_z6OCbdP0XpE/TENwwhApAGI/AAAAAAAAGpw/vpZ5Z8F6dMc/s320/electric_stove_k140.jpg" width="320" /><br />
Regulated temperatures, lots of cooking space, no fire to make, right inside and next to the refrigerator.<br />
We even have a microwave that can heat dinner in minutes.<br />
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Heat<br />
<img src="http://www.wc-air.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/stock_space_heat_dogs.jpg" /><br />
Not our dogs, but they share the sentiment.No firewood to gather, no cold mornings, just set the thermostat and go on with our lives.<br />
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Computers<br />
What once looked like this<br />
<img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6ivq08cpu1qd87dzo1_400.jpg" /><br />
And was a marvel<br />
Now looks like this<br />
<img height="240" src="http://ultrabooknews.com/files/2012/05/hp-envy-6-ultrabook.jpg" width="320" /><br />
And this<br />
<img height="320" src="http://9to5mac.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/ipadmini.png" width="320" /><br />
And is a marvel<br />
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And of course add this<br />
<img src="https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcROmJKP7n4ey4i1zgakiGK6bjpODkkQ-ZD12JAo_rBIpAHl6vi2Ag" /><br />
And you have the most incredible tool ever-news, connections around the world, Netflix! Cats!<br />
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All of these wonders are housed in my house, and my house is next.<br />
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Even though we are surviving on two small incomes and a student loan, we are still able to afford to live in a house that is adorable and fits us all.<br />
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There is more of course: cars, lights, health care, travel. The list goes on and on. Even at the bottom of the income barrel, we live abundantly. For this I am grateful. I know that, even in this country, not everyone has these luxuries.captiv8edhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11082449835686605409noreply@blogger.com1